tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79280182011-07-29T05:32:36.733-04:00Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.comBlogger2901100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1176053799421556282007-04-08T13:01:00.000-04:002007-04-08T13:36:39.436-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/2305/513/1600/222471/capt.csb12504022137.cubs_reds_baseball_csb125.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/2305/513/320/269870/capt.csb12504022137.cubs_reds_baseball_csb125.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>First off, do you see the guy to Mr. Redlegs right? He's probably dead now. Looking at this new mascot of the Cincinnati, it would be hard to think that this thing hasn't killed before...and you would be right. With this blog we're going to focus on his most recent murder: Mr. Red...dun dun dunnnnnn.<br />Mr. Red was found in a Cincinnati warehouse with a baseball tee shoved up his ass and his head knocked clean off. A bloody baseball bat was found beside the corpse. There really wasn't any leads on who could've done this, possibly a disgruntled fan or maybe it was Dick Pohl (Reds pitching coach...yes that's his real name) taking out his hatred for how poorly the Reds bullpen has been in the past....forever. At least there wasn't any leads until Mr. Redlegs had shown up. <span style="">Bob Castellini has remained quiet on how Redlegs even got his enormous head in the door. A college intern working for the Reds owner in the offseason had this to say:<br />All of a sudden Mr. Redlegs squeezed through the door with his gigantic black mustache and crazy eyes yelling for Bob. I let Mr. Castellini know someone was here to see him and as he asked who it was, Redlegs grabbed the intercom and said and answered "It's Redlegs, the jobs done now let me in." Nothing was said but Castellini immediately opened the door and let baseball face into his officer. While walking in Bobs' office you could kind of tell that the aging mascot might've recently been in a scuffle by tears on his face and some of the seams on his head coming undone. Before the door was shut I could see Castellini with arms open exclaiming "Welcome to the Family."<br />That's all I got out of the intern although it does paint a large picture of what happened. Honestly, I'm kind of glad someone like this is now waking up the fans in the later part of the game. If they don't cheer for him when he's doing what he's doing, well they might get their legs broken.<br />"Mr. Redlegs helped me with my swing said Adam Dunn. The old Mr. Red never even came into the locker room before or after a game while we were in there. He also kind of smelled a bit odd added Ryan Freel. Freel then added, "Mr. Redlegs also got me off with the cops while getting pulled over on I-75 for what I can only guess was driving erratically. The state patrol was walking up the left side of car and he saw Redlegs in the backseat and turned around toward his patrol car and went on his way."<br />For now, it seems that the new mascot might be a solid addition to the organization but for now we're only 5 games into the season and the team is 4-1. If they start losing, things may soon change.<br /></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-117605379942155628?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1156526173910444772006-08-25T13:15:00.000-04:002006-08-25T13:16:13.926-04:00With the recent news of Pluto not being a planet anymore, I started to think what might be in store for elementary classrooms around the U.S. (yes I'm sure China studies the planets as well). Anyway, the amazing newsource that is, CNN, has did a little investigative reporting into this very matter. In a quote from the smoke-filled teachers lounge, Rich Hogan had this to say:<br /><blockquote>"It's exciting. It's a chance to teach kids that this is the nature of science. Things are always changing," said Rich Hogen, who taught fourth grade for 32 years in the Arizona school system.</blockquote>Yea I can see about 1 kid out of every classroom thinking how sweet this is. The other 29 are thinking lunch-recess, lunch-recess, lunch-recess, lunch-recess. But how much of an impact can this really have on a classroom of youngsters. This is how I would think most teachers would bring this up:<br /><br />Mr. Flannegan: Well kids, Pluto has been demoted and is no longer a planet (short pause) let's do some fucking math.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-115652617391044477?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1150613960873375122006-06-18T02:50:00.000-04:002006-06-18T03:09:41.456-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/coors.train.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/coors.train.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>On Friday, June 9th, Ester Powers and her friend Deloris Myers were waiting on a train to take them into Chicago. One thing they didn't count on happening was the Coors Silver Bullet Train to come out of nowhere and drop the temperature to a near-freezing 37 degrees fahrenheit.<br /><br />"I have no idea what had happened. It developed in front of us so fast we had nowhere to run said Ester. "What the hell were they thinking? Who allowed this thing to be on the railways? Do they not clearly understand that if it's 90 degrees and the temperature drops to nearly freezing in a matter of seconds, that it isn't exactly healthy for anyone? And another thing, it was going the complete opposite way of what it needed to be going. What happened if our train was waiting for us to board and this monstrosity came barreling into us? Oh and the beer tastes like shit."<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span>For some reason, while the train is approaching it can freeze the tracks so it glides by much faster which conserves fuel. It may sound like a great idea but when you have a train going nearly 120mph kicking off chunks of ice at people diving out of the way, then you have quite the disaster.<br /><br />Coors released this statement:<br /><br />Drinking beer is safe in whatever environment, whether it be playing professional sports such as baseball, football or Nascar or driving trains. We wholeheartedly stand by our train operator and the functions of said train.<br /><br />Train station locals fear for their lives now that this menace of the railway will seemingly never be stopped.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-115061396087337512?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1148022926186378802006-05-19T02:58:00.000-04:002006-05-19T03:20:24.940-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/Rove.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/Rove.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>I'm totally baffled by Karl Rove. He's possibly the smartest man on the planet or the luckiest man on the Earth. And let's face it no one can be this lucky. Besides getting Bush into the White House for a second time (let's face it anyone could've done this because going up against democrats and winning nowadays is about as tough as...well there isn't anything quite as easy). In a recent interview he brought up that the reason that Bush's approval rating is so low is probably because of how the war is going. I read the page over and over again and couldn't comprehend anyone being this slow. Therefore, he must be the smartest man ever. He has to be working some kind of psychology angle with this and I applaud him. When looking at this guy, you immediately think, "he either wants to kill me or use me or both but not in that order...unless he likes things like that."<br /><br /><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/05/15/rove.ap/index.html">Story</a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/terminator_004.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/terminator_004.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>When I think of robots, I immediately think about Terminator and how robots will take over the world and James Cameron will be the first killed (it will happen). So when the Japanese start making robots that <a href="http://www.gizmodo.com/gadgets/robots/meti-robot-of-the-year-awards-174192.php">look exactly</a> like the terminator, it just means doom is right around the corner. Bad acting and ridiculous accents won't be far off.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-114802292618637880?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1147412587645497132006-05-12T01:08:00.001-04:002006-05-12T01:53:18.423-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/gas-pump-79.3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/gas-pump-79.3.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Everytime I read about the possibility of oil companies gouging Earth, it reminds me of how dumb questions can be. When oil companies turn out record profits each quarter and the cost of oil drops down (one whole cent) prices still manage to go up around 10 cents at the pump. Something humorous then happens at the federal level where some congressmen say that they will investigate these problems and see if these companies are indeed price gouging. I'm sure these investigations will turn up some thrilling evidence of nothing illegal at all happening. Even if they do actually get into court about this (which they won't) it will still take years and many appeals to get to anything. Long story short, stop complaining about gas prices because there is nothing you or anyone can do about it. They will go up until we find a new resource to make our cars move by. Then that resource will skyrocket because of a war in the mideast. I don't know how it will happen but it will be because of Jeb Bush.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/howiemandel.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/howiemandel.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Well NBC has finally found a show that brings in an audience that people can watch and find Howie Mandel funny. It's a brilliant "new" show that boils down to who can be the best at guessing which ho holds the magical briefcase that isn't holding less than $50,000 and guns previously owned by Mandel for killing himself.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/700_Club_logo.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/700_Club_logo.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Because of the upcoming DaVinci Code movie, they've decided to go on a biblical rampage. For the love of Christ, they need to be casted off the earth faster than Carrot Top searching for his next hilarious prop in a city dump. During the commercial for their upcoming show about how the DaVinci code didn't really happen they boldly claim that it is fiction. I could've told you that in about two seconds by looking at the cover...where it says it is fiction. But the 700 Club has other evidence that just seems rock solid. Their evidence? The bible doesn't say this is how it happened, therefore this isn't how it happened. So it boils down to a book written by man overrides another book written by man. Brilliant.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-114741258764549713?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1146374722573243772006-04-30T01:03:00.000-04:002006-04-30T01:41:40.636-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/160_united_93_060404.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/160_united_93_060404.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>I like making money off of dead people and their family as much as the next midwestern but it seems this has gone a little past the limit. When I first saw the movie trailer last month, it just seemed like a bad idea. I'm sure not to the people making this because anything with 9/11 on it is guaranteed cash. Just look at all the bumperstickers and shirts sold at gas stations.<br /><blockquote>"We will never forget"<br /></blockquote>They seemed to have forgotten the rest of the sentence: "how to make money off of anything." Now I'ma sure the assholes who mde this are giving .000000001% of all the profits the film makes to the families who lost their relatives but if these dicks were so fucking righteous they would just give them a huge check and let anyone who wanted to watch it in free of charge (you read correctly, dicks and assholes in the same sentence.) The other thing that pisses me off about this is that we've all heard the story hundreds of times. Why do we need to see it with visuals this time? Wasn't the stories and day horrible enough? This just seems to prove the fact that they were just trying to make a quick buck because it was still in our minds...because Bush brings it up no matter what.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-114637472257324377?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1144809572039861492006-04-11T21:08:00.000-04:002006-04-11T22:39:34.370-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/nyet12704111455.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/nyet12704111455.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>It appears another rapper has died and surprisingly it wasn't because of old age or having a heart attack at the announcement of his nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize. Nope, he decided to suck a couple of bullets into his chest and then just die, like a total idiot. I love getting shot as much as the next guy who has a shitty career/none but when you consider that he was a friend with Eminem and a former member of D12 you have to start thinking the killer did this guy a favor. I'm not saying that being in a rap group that plays second fiddle to a white guy from Michigan is pathetic but then again what kind of fucking rap group has a fiddle in it in the first place? Morons.<br />Anyway, this sweet rapper called himself Proof for reasons not known by me. What I do know is that I'm kind of scared that D12 will come busting through my door knock me out then start making terrible rhymes about how I'm about to die. That brings me to another point, rappers are like the Bond villians of real life. They tell you how they're going to do everything but nothing really happens. I'm not going to try to explain what lyrics are like this because nearly every rap song is the same anyway. I can't see how each rapper says they make songs unique to themselves about their life but somehow every artists song comes out identical to others.<br /><blockquote>So you love girls and getting drunk eh? Well that's great but can you have something new for the next 9 tracks of your album? Oh you can't think of anything else? Apparently you're full of shit and aren't exactly as creative as your mom and idiot friends said you are.<br /></blockquote><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-114480957203986149?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1143939838249777922006-04-01T19:45:00.000-05:002006-04-02T01:48:11.536-05:00The day that everyone loves to hate. The day all the losers on planet Earth brainstorm and come up with the weakest pranks and jokes you've ever heard. Marriage proposals, giving money away and sexual favors are just some of the weak "jokes" people like to play. Sadly they don't find my retaliation "joke" as funny when I threaten to kill them, then do just that. But enough about me, I'm actually going to go over some of the best April Fool's jokes ever.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">#1 John Milton Commits Suicide in 1865</span><br /><br />The governor of Florida decided he wanted to die and killed himself. Because of the day everyone was waiting for him to pop out a closet or show up out of nowhere. He simply did not and everyone wasted a whole lot of time. April Fool's morons! He was clearly ahead of his time.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/render_image.php.1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/render_image.php.1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><center>Quite the prankster!</center><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">#2 Hitler is Sent To Jail</span><br /><br />The reason why he was sent to jail doesn't matter but while he was there he met some interesting people. After about 3 hours some guards came to talk to him and said April Fool's, now let's go kill some inferior humans. It was also rumored that this is when he trimmed up his now famously known tiny mustache. He did it on a dare to see if he could keep a straight face while sounding superbly pissed off. He easily won as he never smiled again until he killed himself in his bunker with his skank.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">#3 </span><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="tdihdarktitle">The Pilgrim-Wampanoag Peace Treaty 1621</span><br /><br />The treaty happened to be signed on this day (rumored to be the very first April Fool's Day) and anyone can guess what happened next. The Wampanoag tribe was decimated and the Pilgrims' took their land. Suckers!<br /><br />I looked for all of 10 minutes and I can say without a doubt that these are the top three April Fool's Day pranks of all time.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-114393983824977792?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1142977678169731292006-03-21T15:57:00.000-05:002006-03-21T16:47:58.253-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/ua_logo_white.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/ua_logo_white.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Apparently not anymore. Why you ask? Well, from what I have gathered from the commercial that just graced my television, they now make bras...for women! Sadly the woman that was running around in their product wasn't getting put in her place with a sweet game of football but was instead jogging down some street in the daytime which is quite the change of pace from the normal nighttime scream fest from a football team on the goal line with 2 seconds left in the 4th quarter. During the commercial there also happened to be some weak music that had a vocalist that would rather curl up to a "good" Jane Austen novel instead of actually playing music deemed worthy by Jeff Hanneman. When a company makes such a turnaround such as this, they just show their true colors trying to appeal to their customers and make some money. That's pretty weak when you compare it to today's innocent and wholesome sports community in the U.S.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-114297767816973129?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1141998736827984292006-03-10T08:31:00.000-05:002006-03-10T08:54:04.196-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/sun-flare.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/sun-flare.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Why is there a picture of the sun? Well it's the closest thing I could think of to go with the story. You see, some scientists have created what is supposedly the hottest heat source ever. Hotter than the sun and just a few degrees fahrenheit over <a href="http://www.wvah.com/programs/thirdrock/wayneknight.jpg">Wayne Knight</a> in a bikini (fucking dilophosaurus). Anyway, how hot could these brainiacs make something? Well on the good ol' Lord Kelvin scale it reached 2 billion degress. But that is some weakass temperature scale from the 1800's you say. Well fancy pants, Gabriel Fahrenheit says it would be about 3.6 billion degrees. Even though the previous sentence was just to show that I knew who came up with both scales it also shows that what these scientists have done is incredible. The scary part however, comes from this sentence:<blockquote> "They don't know how they did it."</blockquote><span style="text-decoration: underline;"></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gabriel_Fahrenheit" title="Gabriel Fahrenheit"><br /></a>If you can make a temperature that is above maybe 100 degrees fahrenheit, it would be alright to say well I'm not sure how this was reached but we could repeat the same process by simply rubbing two items together to create the friction needed to come up the desired temperature. Now if you have jumped up to about 3.6 billion degrees...well that's a different story. It would be like me saying I found a job. In other words they need to know how this happened. Either way, I think we just found this year's winner for the world's fastest grilling competition.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.livescience.com/technology/060308_sandia_z.html">Live Science: <span style="font-style: italic;">Record Set for Hottest Temperature on Earth: 3.6 Billion Degrees in Lab</span></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-114199873682798429?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1141737230102261472006-03-07T08:13:00.000-05:002006-03-08T00:56:33.390-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/story.phelps.sign.cnn.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/story.phelps.sign.cnn.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>When trying to come up with something to start this entry, it became mind-numbingly painful (that's right I couldn't feel my mind.) All the things that I would love to do to these people crossed my mind. I also thought about just going up to them and trying to reason with them why they would be doing such a terrible thing but I already know their response would be more yelling to grab whoever's attention they still had not received. The thing is, when they find out that there isn't a heaven or a hell this will still not be punishment enough for the hatred towards their fellow human being. I wish that there was a hell for these people who could suffer for eternity.<br />I've said many things about relgion in general on this blog but I honestly don't really mind it, unless it turns into things like this. When this happebs you should really end up hanging upside down impaled with a rusty post with razor wire all around it starting through your mouth and then coming out of your ass.<br />In an effort to hear their side of the story, I decided to talk to one of the protesters and see what they had to say.<br /><br />NoPantz: So what are you trying to prove here? That you're somehow above all other souls on the face of the planet and that God hates homosexuals? I know you could find some passages in the bible about how homosexuality may be wrong but I'm sure I could find you twice as many passages about loving your fellow man. So what's your incorrect stance on this?<br /><br />Idiot #1: WELL ACTUALLY...<br /><br />NP: Stop yelling. You're sitting four feet away from me in a sound proof room. You really don't need to yell for me to hear you. And put away your dumb sign. I've seen it one hundred times already and it's still wrong, so good job on that.<br /><br />Idiot #1: WHAT DO YOU...<br /><br />NP: Seriously, stop yelling. You only look like a fool and it ultimately shows you're lacking in content but are here for shock value instead.<br /><br />Idiot #1: Wait a minute, why are we in a sound proof room?<br /><br />NP: "BLUDGEON BLUDGEON BLUDGEON"<br /><br /><br />Killing that protester actually took a little longer than I thought. In fact I'm not done. At certain points he even said that he could see the light. I then reassured him it was because he was on his back looking up at the ceiling fan's light. I then beat him a good hundred times more. Then after that took a break and had some dinner. After dinner, more beatings. I'm on my third day now and for some reason I'm just not getting tired of hitting this person. It might be awhile untill my next post especially if hitting this corpse never starts to dull or tire me out.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/03/06/btsc.lavandrera.funerals/index.html">Story</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-114173723010226147?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1141545854586029402006-03-05T02:38:00.000-05:002006-03-05T03:11:43.300-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/story.zawahiri.aljazeera.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/story.zawahiri.aljazeera.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>That guy with the thing on his head also known as Ayman al-Zahahiri has come out saying that al Qaeda has condemned the drawings of their God Mohmmed and that he praises Hammas' win in the past elections. Although living in a cave can probably slow you down to current world events, you would think that a group as big as this would have news coming into them just a bit faster. I would expect at the very least a 56k modem (with covers over the phone line slots because insertion is fucking gross). This actually leads up to the reason why there hasn't been any post up here lately because I decided to go on a trip to talk to the man himself. It really isn't that hard to figure out where he is when you put all the clues together but I'll let the sleuths of the world try to figure it out just a while longer. Anyway after many threats on dismemberment and being poked with pointy sticks I was able to get an interview and this is what he had to say:<br /><br />No Pantz: So what's with the ridiculously slow news coming in and out of this cave?<br /><br />Ayman: Well, you see Osama left for a little while and when he does he locks up the good computers because he has no faith in us to take care of it.<br /><br />NP: Yea I saw something that resembled <a href="http://amaregood.blogspot.com/">Jerod Pauley's</a>...<a href="http://bellsouthpwp.net/w/d/wd4mei/pcport.jpg">computer</a>.<br /><br />Ay: Yea those things are definitely nothing special but it's what we have to work with. Hey did you hear about the Olympics starting up? You might want to be watching next week during the speed skating portion.<br /><br />NP: That was over about a week ago so good luck with anything remotely terroristic.<br /><br />Ay: Damn it! See I knew that Osama needed to let us...wait is terroristic even a word?<br /><br />NP: I really have no clue but it sounds good enough. Anyway moving on. You've been the number two man for quite some time now, do you ever get angry that there is no room for job promotions?<br /><br />Ay: No not at all, I'm usually the one...<br /><br />NP: So what you're saying is that Osama won't be going on any Martyr runs with the rest of the guys or anything like that?<br /><br />Ay: Haha no nothing like that will be in his near or distant future, you see we let the idiots take care of blowing up things with bombs on their bodies. We just take care of the everyday expensives and press briefings and things of that nature.<br /><br />NP: That actually sounds similar to a democracy or how the U.S. is run.<br /><br />Ay: What did you just say?<br /><br />NP: Praise Allah?<br /><br />Ay: Better.<br /><br />NP: Right, well I think this interview is over with and I must say that you speak english very well. It seems you could have at the very least graduated highschool in the midwest somewhere.<br /><br />Ay: Well thank you very much you western devil now get back to your cell.<br /><br />NP: Alright so what you're saying is that I won't be freed anytime soon?<br /><br />Ay: Not a chance in hell.<br /><br />NP: Can I at least get some of those virgins I keep hearing about from all of your guards?<br /><br />Ay: No they're all mine.<br /><br />NP: Man you have democracy written all over you. Well all over except for the part where it looks like the shit monster punched you in the forehead.<br /><br />And that's how the interview ended. I was punched in the face and and I woke up next to Eddie Van Halen. He played solos that melted everyone's face and we rode off with David Lee Roth and all his girlfriends from the 80's. It was sweet.<br /><span style="font-size:14;"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-114154585458602940?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1140286515935329542006-02-18T13:03:00.000-05:002006-02-18T13:15:15.946-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/jh.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/jh.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>This picture from MSNBC had a caption of<br /><blockquote>A demonstrater taunts police during a protest at the Danish Embassy in Tehran, Iran.<br /></blockquote>This same man was also on some video doing the same thing yelling out chants and speaking to the crowd. I've gathered what I could and have translated it to the best of my ability.<br /><br />Man that hates everything: Aren't we doing a great job! We're making the world a better place for Muslims everywhere! We're just showing how loyal we're to our religion to the rest of the world. We're holding onto the great reputation that Muslims have already and strengthening our relationship with the rest of the world. Isn't religion great! I'm a fucking idiot.<br /><br />Is there something else going on that we're just not hearing about at all? No group no matter what religion should be able to do this and not face consequences. I'm sure some have been arrested but they have already killed 11 people and burned many buildings to the ground. And they're just being pushed back so they can return again to do the same thing. I just wish this picture was in a sequence and the very next picture was a shield breaking this man's face into a million pieces.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-114028651593532954?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1139936256650363082006-02-14T11:35:00.000-05:002006-02-14T11:57:36.726-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/story.03.lahore.afp.gi.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/story.03.lahore.afp.gi.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Has this not gone on for long enough? Over a cartoon with a fake God? If you want to kill your own people and burn places of business to show how mad you are, then go ahead but why do it for 2 weeks straight? All you're doing is feeding into the stereotype that muslims are fucking nuts. When 9 times out of 10 you see a muslim next to a fire things aren't going too well for your religion. Of course you could also say the same about southern christians and abortion clinics. Either way, the south rarely calls for the heads of the Danish. <br />Just think, all of this could easily be solved. Someone could just come out that is high up in the faith and say something like <blockquote>Just kidding! Muhammed isn't real! He's fake and nothing will ever happen according to what the holy book says! </blockquote>But this won't happen because people love a good fire and massacre apparently.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-113993625665036308?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1139171006428504752006-02-05T14:59:00.000-05:002006-02-05T15:26:24.653-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/super%20bowl%20super%20big.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/super%20bowl%20super%20big.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>The not-so super bowl is finally almost here and whether you're watching for the commercials or Cowher's ridiculous chin/mustache combo, one thing is almost certain: football might be played. It seems with all of the crap that revolves around this game that football often times will play second fiddle to the commercials, celebrities and halftime shows. There have even been some extra XL-sized activities scheduled. What are they?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1. Hines Ward vs. Shaun Alexander: Smiling Contest 06'</span><br />Whether they're losing 3543-0, they're still smiling and playing there heart out. Factors for this first-ever contest will include guns, knives and Kimo the Assassin going for the knees of Alexander. It's still a toss-up on who might win.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2. Tito Jackson's Naked Parachute Drop During National Anthem</span><br />Sadly for this Jackson he apparently doesn't know that Fords' Field is a dome and his opportunity for another 15 minutes of fame will be short-lived...literally as he slides off the dome and falls to his death. Oh well.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3. Terrel Owens vs. Donovan McNabb...IN A STEEL CAGE!</span><br />Before The Rolling Stones make their appearance at the halftime show Vince McMahon will sponsor the wrestling event that some people are saying that will even top DDP and Karl Malone at Bash At The Beach. Look for Owens crying because McMahon's contract isn't high enough and because McNabb sliced him in the face with the top of a partially opened can of Cambell's soup. Once again, Kimo comes in to go after McNabb's knees.<br /><br />It should be a pretty good game and a decent send-off of the NFL season. Too bad the Bengals have already won next year's super bowl in Miami against the 49'ers. You heard it here first.<br /><br />Also, some news that hasn't been played too much is that Bettis is from Detroit. We'll all see how that turns out.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-113917100642850475?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1138867731212997242006-02-02T02:36:00.000-05:002006-02-02T03:08:51.296-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/060126_freyoprah_hmed.hmedium.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/060126_freyoprah_hmed.hmedium.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>James Frey, besides having a sweet first name, has recently been verbally molested by Oprah and women who should fine something else better to do. I didn't watch the episode but was nearly forced to watch clips of said interview everytime I turned on the television or went to a news site. Why is this even news? Oprah was apparently humiliated and thrown off by Frey's exagerration of the truth so much she decided to have him on the show again to give him even more publicity therefore selling more copies of his book.<br />Even though he has a beard, receding hairline, curly hair and my first name...holy shit, this <span style="font-style: italic;">is</span> me in 25 years. I guess it's kind of nice to see that along the way I get a sweet sport coat and a nice collared shirt but then again on the negative side women still hate me and one extremely powerful black woman calls for my head after she looks like an idiot on Larry King. On the other hand, I <span style="font-style: italic;">was</span> in prison. As of right now I don't exactly know why I'm in jail because I haven't really studied up on the guy/me so I guess it'll be a surprise when someone yells "freeze, drop the axe and step away from Jesse Jackson." <br />Either way, people going nuts over some exagerations in a book isn't exactly what I would call news. Thank God John Kerry came back to the U.S. from a foreign meeting overseas to take the spotlight off of Frey for the time being...oh wait he didn't because Kerry is <span style="font-style: italic;">that</span> boring. First he lost to Bush now he loses to a lying author/me.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-113886773121299724?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1138604543754729722006-01-30T01:39:00.000-05:002006-01-30T02:11:31.203-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/commcars.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/commcars.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>I'm not exactly sure how car commercials used to be but it seems that lately (within the past 10 years) that they've become pretty ridiculous. It has started to be a competition on who can make a more exaggerated commericial. I just love it when I'm out in the desert in my Chevy SSR while throwing it in reverse to get locked up into a semi. Seriously how many people do GM think live out in the desert? When someone from the midwest like myself is watching these comercials, we're thinking<br /><blockquote>Wow that's great scenery but what does it look like when it's next to row and rows of cornfields?<br /></blockquote>Also, I love the actors they get to fulfill the positions of people driving their cars. They're always moving the wheel back and forth but are driving in a straight line. That just makes me think something is horribly wrong with the allignment.<br /><blockquote>My God! You have to keep turning the wheel back and forth ever so slightly just to stay on the road? How bad can this thing be? What year did you buy this automo...2 weeks ago!? It's brand-new?! Well tell me this, how does it look in the desert?<br /></blockquote><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-113860454375472972?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1138302525237263922006-01-26T13:49:00.000-05:002006-01-26T14:49:58.373-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/as.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/as.0.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>After reading over the articles about escalating violence over the "landslide" victory for Hamas in Palestinian legislative elections, I'm immediately reminded of the chant during Truth or Consequences on 700WLW which unfolds a little bit like this: WE DON'T-WE DON'T- WE DON'T MESS AROUND HEY! Sounding infinitely cooler when yelled by guys in their 50's after answering questions that are asked by callers to the station, Hamas leaders can now say the same thing. After winning the overall election it appears rioting or "scuffles" with Hamas and Fatah have broken out near the Palestinian parliament building. While these were riots were breaking out I had an embedded reporter asking questions to Fatah members passing by on the street.<br /><br />Reporter: How are things going to change now that Hamas has gained 76 seats in your legislature?<br />Fatah Member: <span style="font-size:78%;">shhhhhhhhhhhh</span><span style="font-size:85%;">hhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiii</span><span style="font-size:130%;">iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttt<span style="font-size:85%;">ttttttttttttttttt<br /><span style="font-size:100%;">It would appear from the answer given that the man was running at a pretty good speed to and from the reporter.</span><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><span style="font-size:14;"></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-113830252523726392?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1138256914802193602006-01-26T01:07:00.000-05:002006-01-26T01:28:34.830-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/xbox.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/xbox.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>The "old" Xbox will start to go the way of the dinosaurs the further we get into the year 2006 and I would just like to throw out some memories I've had with this machine during it's existence.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1. It Feels Like The First Time</span><br />The first time I remember playing this was sometime during my senior year close to Christmas. Tom got it as a Christmas gift about 2 weeks before Christmas so everyone went over there to see what it was like. My first impressions of it went something like this<br /><br />A. Damn that machine is huge.<br />B. Why is this thing so damn huge?<br />C. These controllers are fucking huge!<br /><br />After constantly playing Halo multiplayer (not Live) with the same 4 people in the room over and over again I started to think, "I wonder what other games this system will have?" And about 2 years later I figured out that answer: Halo 2.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2. Chase Barga Is A Huge Bitch In A Little Man's Body</span><br />While working as a carryout during highschool at Northtowne Eiks, I had quite a few meaningless arguments with Chase Barga about how much the Xbox sucks. I of course stayed behind the Playstation 2 and Gamecube and he stayed behind the Xbox because of how good the games looked. Looking back now, I understand the reason I had so few girlfriends during highschool<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3. Ben Hart Hates Class, Loves Halo</span><br />During trips to Ohio University to visit friends such as one Benjamin Hart, I found it more and more unsettling how much this kid played this game. I of course had no room to talk because I play an enormous amount of videogames. The thing that sets me apart is the hilarious whining. I'm know I get mad at videogames when I lose but I don't yell at the tv with some of the weakest comebacks in the history of the universe. And that's just the thing, Hart is a clever, quick witted individual yet the Halo franchise somehow dumbs him down so much that he's reduced to repeating the same things kids say in the headsets right back to them in a little kid/sarcastic voice. This is the only time he seems to do this with videogames unless you count Mariokart Double Dash. But yelling at that game is warranted because it's the cheapest game on the planet on how it screws you over at the most opportune times.<br /><br />To summarize the existence of the Xbox, it's one big pile of shit that can play Halo...even though a computer can play them with better looks and textures.<br /><br />P.S. I apologize to Jamie, a loyal reader for many months. She has no idea what this entire article was even about.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-113825691480219360?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1138161767157642672006-01-24T22:48:00.000-05:002006-01-25T00:48:49.970-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/DietGirl.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/DietGirl.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Diets are probably about the dumbest idea anyone has ever thought of that isn't named <a href="http://www.nndb.com/people/781/000028697/marshappl.jpg">Marshall Herff Applewhite</a>. Why would attempting to get in better shape be a bad thing? Because it just about never happens. Show me a former over weight person and I'll show you someone who is downright miserable. They may have a happy look to them on the outside but on the inside they're thinking something along the lines of "Man, an entire 30lb. turkey would taste damn good right about now." Also, something new has come because according to the picture to the left shows that the less you weigh while on a diet the dumber you become. It's kind of like a Samson thing with the hair. Anyway, this imbecile is so amazed with tanning lotion she doesn't even rub it in. She just keeps squeezing it into her hands. She probably gives head like a porn star but at the end would be a bit awkward. She would just keep smiling and you would then have to explain it to her that you're not some kind of lotion bottle. She would then get confused and want to go run some stairs.<br />Also, have you ever ran into a woman who has been dieting and gotten a good attitude from her? Hell no you haven't because dieting just emphasizes the inner bitch. Dieting is a tool made by people who are miserable and want everyone else to be the same way. Case in point: Tony Little. This man has to hate life. He's the butt of jokes that are so tight, even he can't get in.<br />No good can come from dieting. Eat fat food and live a short life. It's better than living longer and being a huge dick to everyone. <a href="http://www.dietnot.com/tony_little/images/tony_lrg.jpg">You can do IIIIIIIIT!</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-113816176715764267?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1137945811941674332006-01-22T10:33:00.000-05:002006-02-08T20:15:20.543-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/AOL_Instant_Messenger_screenshot.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/AOL_Instant_Messenger_screenshot.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Topic of the day: instant messenger information and the lack of imagination most people (girls) have with them. Listen if you don't have anything original to say then shut the hell up...stop typing. Does anyone really care what the blonde-haired kid from the O.C. said in the last episode? And do we really want to read it in your info for the next 8 weeks? Of course not but for some reason you still feel the need to put the newest Coldplay song in your info cleverly disguising it as your own. Some people are nice in giving an incomplete bibliography in just including the bands name (sometimes with hearts around it or "I heart [said bands name"]). Don't be me wrong or anything I used to post lyrics in my info back in the <a href="http://www.icq.com/">ICQ</a> days of highschool but the thing is they were the lyrics from many Slayer songs. Meaning, if you wanted my love you better want Kerry King's love as well.<br />One of the ironic parts to this would be that the following is a conversation I could have with people who have the famous phrases in the info.<br /><br />NoPantz: Hey, how are you doing today?<br />Girl: Shitty, my parents won't let me go to the place I want for spring break because they're idiots.<br />NoPantz: Oh I see, well that's too bad but you could always take the advice in your info "Sometimes certain things are a blessing in disguise."<br />Girl: Fuck that. The only reason that's in there is so guys will think I'm sensitive before I go down on them.<br />NoPantz: I've always thought you were sensitive.<br /><br />I have compiled the top 3 items of what I consider appropriate for instant messenger info.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />1. A funny conversation you may have had with a fellow friend copy/pasted directly into your info.</span><br /><br />A recent conversation you had with someone where they said something incredibly stupid. I myself, recently had a conversation with someone whom I told while having my recent hernia surgery, that they had found out they my liver was nowhere to be found. I went on to say that they told me if I had lived this long without a liver, that I must be doing fairly decent without one and they released me from the hospital. This girl (of course) believed every word.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2. An advertisement that says something along the lines of "Oh my God! I can't believe they found your picture on the internet!" Click here to find out what it looks like!</span><br /><br />This one has always made me laugh because you know the person with this in their info was gullible enough to think that they would find a picture of themselves in someone else's info. Attention whores!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3. Actual pictures of said person</span><br /><br />After asking the person with the pictures in question that they have actually posted real pictures in their info, I decide to finally click on the link taking me to whatever picture hosting service they have decided to use. Most of the time they're blurry or have the same people in them every single picture but every once in a while you will get a gem such as <a href="http://img228.imageshack.us/img228/573/cccp328ie.jpg">this</a>. Yes I decided to use myself because what better of a picture to post? Exactly.<br /><br />That would be my (everyone's) top 3 list because who actually wants to see actual information about the person you're inquiring about? Most likely you already know the person you're talking to and even if your not familiar with them that's the whole point of having a conversation dumbass.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-113794581194167433?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1137275748936410922006-01-14T16:08:00.000-05:002006-01-14T16:55:49.013-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/nspcc_smacking.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/nspcc_smacking.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>And when I say <span style="font-style: italic;">beat</span>, I don't mean get on the floor and kick their teeth out. What I'm saying is that when a kid acts out of line (say when a kid around the age of 6 or 7 receives semi-realistic metal tools and decides to use the saw on the book case) they need to be punished (just like I was). I've always felt this way even when I was younger living with parents. They raised me well enough that they never really had to spank me or anything like that (although there were those occasional times). I knew what I wasn't supposed to do most of the time (or just sneaked around and got away with things where they never had to punish me.<br />Anyway, what brought on the topic is <a href="http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7986309503803248571&q=chocolate+milk">this</a> video. Never have I seen such a spoiled brat and never have I ever wanted to see the life drain from a person. Hitler wouldn't even talk to his mother this way if she was black and Jewish. It starts out kind of wimpy but at the end the child is saying something along the lines of:<br /><blockquote>Mom! Get me some fucking chocolate milk! What do you mean no?! That's bullshit!<br /></blockquote>He's playing some videogame on the Xbox so when you see him shooting people don't think you're watching the wrong video.<br /> Even though part way I started to laugh at what he was saying, I still wished death upon him and his future children.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-113727574893641092?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1136864447760498052006-01-09T22:23:00.000-05:002006-01-09T22:50:56.443-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/09-jackson2-275.1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/09-jackson2-275.1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/2002-02-05-inside-vick.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/2002-02-05-inside-vick.0.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Now that all the sweet commotion about Marcus Vick has died down about him getting kicked out of...oh wait he was arrested 24 hours adding even more reason for him being ousted? Impressive. This can only mean one thing...and here he is! Jesse Jackson walking down the aisle screaming racism and other words he still has no idea the meaning of. I guess he plans on talking about this subject now so without further narration by myself, here is The Revolting Jesse Jackson:<br /><br />Jackson: Ladies and gentlemen, what we have today is another case of the white upper class being predjudice toward a bright young star in our college system who just happens to have black skin. Marcus could've came back for his senior year at Virginia Tech for his final year in college football but the school decided that they needed to part ways with my close friend/new money-making venture, Marcus Vick. Now personally, I find this act to be something of a terrorist act as the school just blew up Marcus' chances for a college education<br /><br />Reporter: Mr. Jackson you're aware that Marcus is allowed to come back to the school but not the football team correct?<br /><br />Jackson: Actually I was not aware of that but how in this day and age could a man such as Marcus even <span style="font-style: italic;">afford</span> to pay for a college education?<br /><br />Reporter: Well he could borrow some off of his millionaire brother in the NFL, sign up for college loans or possibly get a job.<br /><br />Jackson: Now see here...<br /><br />Reporter: Oh! You could give it to him since you're so rightous and loving of Marcus. Afterall you woudn't want to deprive Mr. Vick an opportunity now would you?<br /><br />Jackson: Now if I would give him a loan that means that I would I would have to give everyone deserving of a college education a loan. And even I, The Reverend Jesse Jackson can't afford that.<br /><br />Reporter: Well, I have no idea how deserving he is because of his past criminal record.<br /><br />Jackson: Lies and propoganda my friend. This man has done nothing wrong in the past...<br /><br />Reporter: He was just arrested today Mr. Jackson on weapons charges.<br /><br />Jackson: I do not know what you're talking about and I would like it if you would keep your false slander to yourself. Now anyone else? Good, moving on.<br /><br />Reporter: If you would look in his hand right now, you would see the very gun he was arrested for. Mr. Jackson, you can not possibly tell me that this man is innocent of all charges brought against him in the past 3 years?<br /><br />Jackson: I most certainly can.<br /><br />Reporter: But with a straight face?<br /><br />Jackson: Moving on. Actually I have no time for this kind of thing. Vick is innocent of any wrong doings. Oh and buy my stuff.<br /><br />Well I guess that's all that Mr. Jackson has to say about the current matter he is involved in. I wonder who he pays to erase his mind so he wakes up with a clean conscience in the morning.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-113686444776049805?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1136519519861532682006-01-05T22:23:00.000-05:002006-01-05T22:51:59.956-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/pat_robertson.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/pat_robertson.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Pat Robertson either loves attention or happens to be mentally retarded. I'm going to go for both actually after it being reported that he said:<br /><blockquote>"He (Ariel Sharon) was dividing God's land, and I would say, 'Woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course to appease the [European Union], the United Nations or the United States of America,'"</blockquote>His quote having to deal with the Israeli settlers leaving the Gaza Strip and giving it back to the Palestinians. The report says that Robertson was against this pull out and who can blame him because as we all know, God favors land over human life any day. Also, God happens to love war in His name and obviously wants to smite those who are in favor of peace for their people.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-113651951986153268?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1135932316570671572005-12-30T03:12:00.000-05:002005-12-30T03:45:16.756-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/top10.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/top10.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Are you wanting to read another generic and boring top whatever list of 05'? Excellent because no one else should be either. When December finally rolls around every year, news organizations and about every single magazine pukes up what the world has been like in the past 12 months. I'm always amazed that on the lists of "Best Moments of the Year" that they don't go a little something like this:<br /><ol><li>The whole fucking world is still intact...kind of.<br /></li><li>If you're reading this, then you're alive, nice job on not dying.<br /></li><li>Keith Richards has been found to be the second coming of Jesus because he looks about 2000 years old. And on that note, Jesus made a deal with the devil to be able to rock that hard.<br /></li></ol>All these lists are supposed to do are have you think "Hey, I forgot about that!" If you can't remember what happened in the past 12 months then it isn't worth remembering. You remember what is most important to you and that should be enough. <blockquote>"Did anything happen to my close group of friends and family?"<br /></blockquote>They weren't in a huge hurricane or a giant tsunami so I'm apparently doing better than a lot of people. And none of them happen to be a leader of any nation, so I/they have that going for me/them.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-113593231657067157?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1135155173264513022005-12-21T03:36:00.000-05:002005-12-21T03:52:53.356-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/Johnny.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/Johnny.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Does this man look familiar? He should if you've watched Fox two weeks after they display their new fall lineup after the execs discover their shows are still terrible (except for Sunday night's from 9-10 and Arrested Developement.) John Bunnell happens to be the host of World's Wildest Police Chases and however many they've aired by now, it will never be enough. Besides the fact that they find <span style="font-style: italic;">the</span> craziest chases ever, John happens to get himself into amazing trouble each time he is about to host the show. When <span style="font-style: italic;">don't</span> you see this man hanging around a hostage stand-off with a S.W.A.T. team or instpecting a gun that could be used by any spec ops team of today? You already know the question is never but I'm going to answer the question anyway: never. This man is almost as badass as <span style="font-style: italic;">the man</span> (this <span style="font-style: italic;">mans</span> name doesn't even need to be mentioned.) He walks around hostile territory no more than 3 feet from oncoming death in just a grey collared shirt and no armor whatsoever with his back turned seemingly to just mock whatever schmo even wants to try and get him some. Mr. Bunnell simply knows that "some" will never be achieved by any scum sucking criminal while he's around.<br />So this plea is just for John, never stop sending me videos of cars getting t-boned by trains or people running across a 16-lane highway then finally getting rammed by a taxi and speeds around 80mph. Never stop looking as harsh as <span style="font-style: italic;">I</span> know you can look. And most importantly, never stop making the incredibly fake transitions from video to video at the closest stakeout.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-113515517326451302?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1134898483230173152005-12-18T04:12:00.000-05:002005-12-20T03:10:48.750-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/jgftrama.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/jgftrama.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>When talking about Jolly Ol' Saint Nick, my mood becomes rather sad. When I was younger, I like pretty much every other kid in their teens/single digits in age believed in Santa Claus. There wasn't any logical thought put into this process at all because he was alive no matter how ridiculous it may have been. I even remember writing letters to him once and a while but of course never received anything in return. This really got on my nerves because a man with a terrible taste in fashion and an unhealthy diet of cookies and nothing else was a lazy slob. He worked one day out of the year and had his elves do all the busy work. He made his reindeer pull him and only gave toys to those of us who supposedly believed in him. This man is the biggest, overhyped con artist in the history of fictional characters. That and you just know George Bush would have to hate him because his elves have no <span style="font-style: italic;">freedom</span> [squinty eyes]. Or is it that he loves him because of his business model? Wait no, there is no profit in just giving things away!<br />Well finally after some serious thought, I came to the conclusion that this guy was a fake. No way could he do what everyone says he has done for the past <span style="font-style: italic;">X</span> amount of years. Like most of you, I was totally heartbroken. So of course if the mother of all holiday fictional characters happened to never actually...live, well then that meant everything else was fake. Although I did find the Easter Bunny ridiculous in the first place and there was no way that something as dumb and sexually rambonxious as a rabbit could even figure out how to get past a Master Lock on a door. I still wanted to believe in the ridiculous things that were said to me by my parents. This is why, if/when I have kids, Santa Claus will not even be mentioned by me unless the words <blockquote>"is fake and a douchebag"</blockquote> are coming right after it.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-113489848323017315?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1133817311054073072005-12-05T15:44:00.000-05:002005-12-05T16:17:17.850-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/t1.saddam3.mon.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/t1.saddam3.mon.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>In a pretty surprising turn of events, the former dicatator has now added "rapper" to his list of things to master. In an unsurprising note, he stays within the boundries that have been set by the current group of "A-list" rappers. Some of the subjects he brings up include:<br /><br /><ol><li> How much Bush sucks</li><li> All the bitches/virgins he bangs</li><li> Being in jail</li></ol>As you can see it's the same formula that pretty much every rapper has been using since the early nineties. Honestly this is the real deal. He would get more street cred than any other rapper to date. Seriously though, who would you think is tougher? Tupac who has shot maybe up to 10 people at the very most or Saddam who has gassed nearly 2 million not to mention all the people he has sent to the torture chambers where his sons threw out the punishment like it was Christmas. But instead of gifts and family you get to enjoy a knife to the genitals and a sword to the face.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-113381731105407307?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1132259692897981832005-11-17T15:22:00.000-05:002005-11-17T15:34:52.923-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/horoscope-wheel.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/horoscope-wheel.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Another title to this post could easily be:<br /><blockquote>After this, Ashley Will Hate Me Even More!<br /></blockquote>Anyway, horoscopes, girls love them, guys love girls to read theirs to them so that they will finally shut up about their day and actually talk about them for once. These jokes of entertainment (horoscopes...not girls) tend to be like fortune cookies of never dishing anything out that could ever be geared towards negative. Just listen to my horoscope for this very day:<br /><blockquote><b class="T11TahBPu">November 17, 2005</b><br /> <div style="height: 4px;"><spacer type="block" height="4"></div> You might feel tempted to push and to assert yourself, James. But you could be more effective now if you sit back and relax. Take the day to observe others. You could come up with an important strategy to a professional problem as you sit quietly. Don't forge ahead with any plans until you have the necessary information. You might want to do some extra research or speak to an experienced associate.</blockquote>I love how it is basically telling me that I should sit on someone's tree branch with a pair of binoculars and just sit and watch. Besides sounding like a weak plan to spy/murder people this thing also tells me to be lazy. If these things were so smart in the beginning they would know that I've been doing this for my entire life already and not just giving me one day to do so. Let's see, nearly 22 years of being lazy or one day devoted to it on November 17, 2005. I'm going to go with the one day! Or not.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-113225969289798183?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1132082431930692242005-11-15T13:49:00.000-05:002005-11-15T14:20:32.000-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/madonna%20wallpaper02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/madonna%20wallpaper02.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Recently in an interview Madonna has said that she's a new person and what a relief is what I have to say. We don't need any more of this 40 something trying to act like she did in the 80's. Wait she's still dancing in very little clothing and making terrible songs? What has changed? Well, with a new album coming out I'm guessing she's changed her look once again. Maybe she's found another new fake religion that she can tell Britney Spears about. She apparently enjoys resembling a <a href="http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2005/11/04/madonna_labelled_a_transvestit.html">man</a> now as well. Maybe she's going to have another kid or possibly divorce her husband all in the name of publicity. Actually, what she might do is become a lesbian and marry her daughter. It would be the mother of all publicity stunts and it would give people talking about Woody Allan's "wife thing" something new to talk about. Think about how long people would be talking about this? Madonna could make her wife clean the house and do chores til she's at least 18. Then just have another kid in waiting to marry. It doesn't matter if it's a boy or girl either because it's Madonna. Whatever she's doing currently will do a 180 next year or whenever her next terrible movie/album is due out.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-113208243193069224?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1131853197658539032005-11-12T22:15:00.000-05:002005-11-13T17:21:13.736-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/kofi_annan.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/kofi_annan.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Some things that describe Kofi Annan: <br />1. Black Man<span style="font-style: italic;"><br />2. The</span> big wig at the United Nations<br />3. Lover of grey hair<br /><ol> </ol>Some things that wouldn't: <br />1. White man<br />2. Up to date with current events<br /><ol> </ol>It would seem that he has been suffering from retardation as he just got back from Iraq. He had these words to say:<br /><blockquote>"This region, and particularly Iraq, has suffered too much from terrorist attacks."</blockquote>First of all, I didn't know there was a certain quota that had to be reached until there were <span style="font-style: italic;">too many</span> deaths from terrorist attacks and second...well that's just a ridiculous thing to say when you're in that high of office. It would be like George Bush saying...well take your pick. Annan also had this to say to Ibrahim al-Jaafari:<br /><blockquote>"Hello, Mr. Al? Excuse me can I just call you Jaaf or Ibra? No? Well ok then. So how have things been going for Iraq lately? Bad? What do you mean bad? Terrorist attacks? Well I had no idea sir, I'm sorry. How long have things been like this? Since the beginning of the war!? Man where have I been? No you weren't supposed to answer that question with "up someone's asshole" thank you very much. But anyway, I have brought you many things that I thought would help your country in it's changing over period to it's new government. Actually what I brought...no not food, medial supplies or ammunition, no I brought you some t-shirts and hats. What do you mean we don't need hats? They're like jello, there's always room for hats. What do you mean get out? Do you know how hard it is to have a 4 letter name with 2 syllables?"</blockquote><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-113185319765853903?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1130900459241767722005-11-01T22:00:00.000-05:002005-11-01T22:00:59.316-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/eh%20copy.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/400/eh%20copy.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>I've finally come to the realization that republicans for the most part are complete idiots just like the democrats. Neither party in congress wants what's good for the country (except a select few) but instead want what's good for their bank accounts and reputation. Besides who wants to belong to a party that has <a href="http://img382.imageshack.us/img382/576/19920015mm.jpg">Mr. Hannity</a> or <a href="http://img156.imageshack.us/img156/9914/teddycopy6tz.jpg">Mr. Kennedy</a> anyway? Not me. <br />I can't blame Bush completely for dividing the government/world but I can sure throw him a lot of credit. Of course having the democrats blow up every little thing for the media to grab a hold of to try and bring down The President is downright asinine. These guys (rep.-dem.) are the Hatfields and Mccoys and the American people turn out to be the land between the two houses that is all shot up and left unkept. Who would ever want to be a part of such 3rd grade antics? I'm now proud to sayI that 'm part of neither party.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-113090045924176772?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1130807764459693532005-10-31T20:15:00.000-05:002005-10-31T20:23:04.536-05:00On the way back to work from lunch today, I was listening to 700WLW like I usually do and the topic of discussion was Halloween. Bill Cunningham was off today so some other guy was there to fill in and keep things running smoothly. His guest was none other than current hater of everything fun: Steve Wohlberg. He's the type who picks on Harry Potter books because they have witchcraft in them and believes it's evil and takes away from reading the bible. Don't believe me? Well here's a <a href="http://www.hourofthewitch.com/">link</a> to the books' order page. Now the reason I'm writing about this is because I obviously have some type of problem with this "author." So you might be asking yourself<br /><blockquote>Why would you link to his site and have him gain more exposure?<br /></blockquote>That's because anyone who is reading this should have enough sense to know that this guy loves money and anyway he can get it is acceptable to him. Just look at the number you have to call if you want to order it: 877-982-4253, or 877-98-BIBLE. Yes, you would think something held so tight as a bible wouldn't be up for exploitation from someone so noble and religious. But yep it is. Some things you might also notice is the material that the book contains:<br /><blockquote> <ol> <li>Understand Witchcraft's explosive growth in 8th and 9th graders who need attention</li> <li> Discover hidden dangers within Harry Potter like: going to school and helping friends.</li> <li> Learn to relate intelligently to Witches and Wiccans, haha siiiike they don't exist.</li> <li> Protect your family from deadly supernatural forces...yea once again these don't exist but putting this on the page makes you want to buy it! Right?<br /> </li> </ol> </blockquote>The last part that I find funny and hypocritical is that it says to buy this book for Halloween. Isn't this supposedly the day this guy is totally against. It's like saying:<br /><blockquote>Buy my book on the day that I want everyone to forget for all of the evil that it represents.<br /></blockquote>He could also go the George Bush rout and say something like:<br /><blockquote>Buying this book will fend off evil on this sadistic day of days. It will also fend off terrorists. Plus there's a coupon with my face on it that will get you a 1% discount from my online store.<br /></blockquote>It would of course have to end in a sentence to buy more stuff from this guy because nothing says profit quite like religion. Commercial Christianity is a sham.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-113080776445969353?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1129938241997670842005-10-21T19:29:00.000-04:002005-10-21T20:00:27.046-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/B000001DXU.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/B000001DXU.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Anyone who is important enough to be aquainted with me already undestands my hatred for country music. To be more specific country music starting from 1970 to now, (minus Cash of course because he could kill me even in death.) Especially the stuff of today. Reason being, is that all of a sudden they're so fucking patriotic it makes me want to puke. I don't mind patriotism at all, in fact it's a great thing to love one's country but to act like you love it because it's the trendy thing to do and to get better album sales, well that's pathetic and anyone who does this should be punished my looking like Toby Keith, I'm guessing during the mid 90's. My God he's a handsome devil. And by handsome devil, he's hideous even by southern standards. Jesus Christ, he looks worse than The Narcissus Lex Luger minus the sweet metal plate in his forearm from a motorcycle injury. Toby Keith will not be bodyslamming Yokozuna anytime soon.<br />What sparked this recent animosity toward this vile genre of sound? I was at work of course. Somewhere near Franklin Monroe school, I was tearing out some sweet walls when another employee decided to bring his radio up and blast Kicks 96. To let you know how sweet this station is, one of the dj's is known Budha not because he is enlightened but instead because he's a fat fucking slob. Classy but since Buddhism is probably considered blasphemy from these hick cowboy hat-wearing, not even close to being a real cowboy, lazy pieces of shit because Buddha doesn't chill with JC, they resort to giving him this nickname and not think another thing of it.<br />Anyway, to make a long story somewhat shorter, nearly every song played is something that says how great the US is and how anything not within the US borders is fecal material. I'll agree that some countries in the world are terrible places because of government, slavery, epidemic etc. but when you lump everything together like this, well you look pretty damn ignorant. Listening to a song the lyrics spoke how a guy was at a stoplight with his enormous truck (that he doesn't need because when you sing shitty songs and somehow make millions, you don't need a huge truck to haul nothing in [much like anyone with a hummer]) next to a foreign made car and how it was a bad thing and how the man in the foreign car was a smug asshole who wouldn't give anyone the time of day. What the artist of this song doens't know is that the man is so smug because while you're filling up you tank with over a $100 worth of gas, he fills his up for $25 and travels about 500 more miles on it. Also, if the the US automakers didn't make so many damned inferior cars they wouldn't have to lay off thousands and lose money every single quarter. <br />Like I said, being patriotic isn't a bad thing at all but when you seem to be full of so much shit that when you speak, your friends are covered in dung, you might want to give it up for a while/eat a shotgun shell.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112993824199767084?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1129681184424301602005-10-18T20:38:00.000-04:002005-10-18T20:38:24.110-04:00Well the Bengals are off to a fast start for the first time that I can remember (the last time this happened, I was 4 so get off my back) and this means "fans" coming out of the wood work. You know what I'm talking about. Guys that start listening to the hype at the beginning of the season and kind of start thinking to themselves, <blockquote>"I should really start liking this guys they might be good this year."<br /></blockquote>Then when the Bengals only go 2-2 in the preseason this generic man questions the team and is then thinking:<br /><blockquote>"Nah looks like the team I like this year will be the Patriots or the Eagles."</blockquote>And then all of a sudden the Bengals start the real season and decide to just roll over teams. This man is then back saying, <blockquote>"Man I remember when my dad used to take me to Bengals games, rooting for Boomer and Icky Woods."</blockquote>...or whatever semi-famous player the Bengals had at that time. Where is this going you may ask? Well I've compiled some pictures that The Cincinatti Enquirer has let me use/I've stolen. What I'm doing with these pictures of current "fans" is guessing whether or not they're true fans. Let's get started.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/bilde.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/bilde.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">1.</span> I think we can all say that this guy is a Bengals fan through and through. I think we can also say that this man played football as a child and sucked. Therefore he is living out his dream thinking he plays for the Bengals and wearing shoes only Chad Johnson would think classy. His name is also John Downs, which seems to be what he has. Next...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/facial%20hair.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/facial%20hair.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">2.</span> This kid has no idea what metal is or what it stands for so why is he giving the horns? Who knows. The man to the boys right can't even grow facial hair but has to glue it on Beavis and Butthead style. And for the other kid in the picture, I'm not even going to say anything because if you buy glasses that look like that there is something obviously horribly wrong with you and you most likely had a dreadful childhood.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/roofies.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/roofies.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">3.</span> What this girl doesn't know, is that this huge guy slipped her roofies. What this man doesn't know is that her friends found out and he is now drinking Coors Light/piss. He can obviously not tell the difference.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/shake.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/shake.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">4.</span> As long as this guy isn't sporting the Shake N' Blake t's of the mid to late 90's I'll be happy.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />There you have it. Even though I didn't really do what I set out to do, I still wrote something about the Bengals, whom I've liked since they began losing forever ago.<br /><br />Some interesting notes:<br /><ul> <li>I went to the first Shula Bowl where the Bengals only points came from an opening kick-off return (which I missed due to traffic and a missed exit by the driver)</li> <li>While playing the Jaguars on Halloween, I witnessed a nasty collision which paralyzed at least one player and sent 3 to the hospital. While watching the men laying on the field, an amazing/drunken fool screamed <blockquote>C'mon! Let's play some ball!</blockquote> In which everyone yelled at until he sat down then left the stands to never be seen again.</li><li>Jon Kitna has an enormous penis.<br /></li> </ul><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 102); font-weight: bold;">WHO DEY!</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112968118442430160?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1128921810637527652005-10-10T00:54:00.000-04:002005-10-12T08:39:40.843-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/normal_group325.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/normal_group325.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>This isn't going to be about how terrible Good Charlotte is or how they're finishing off a genre that should've died out years ago. What this is going to be, is a look at how dumb anyone who listens to this or any other band like it really is.<br /><ol> <li><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lyrics</span><br />I'm going to be talking to any girls reading this right now that are fans of this genre of music. Isn't it funny that every band you listen to speaks to you and writes songs that are exactly what you're going through? It's because every band says the exact same thing and hasn't the slightest bit of creativity in the music writing department. Who here in their 20's likes these bands and isn't a morbidly obese female with a gallon of Ben & Jerry's in front of them right now or possibly in their 5th year straight as a senior in high school?</li><br /><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">Clothing</span><br />Something Hart brought up about 2 months ago still makes me laugh til this day. We were watching Fuse when a commercial came up for whatever band was popular 2 months ago when Hart said:<blockquote>"Do you think their labels dress those guys like that? I mean no one seriously wears those kind of clothes."<br /></blockquote>And even though I don't know any of these bands personally, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say yes. For the most part, I bet the label has a hand in what is worn when these bands are in the public's eye. Good thing these guys are punk enough to let millionaires tell them how to dress.</li><br /><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">Makeup</span><br />My God quit with the makeup right now. An interview with Billie Joe from Green Day had possibly the funniest thing that has ever been said from a band that was intended to be serious. Somehow they got on the topic of other bands dressing patterns when he decided to say:<br /><blockquote>These guys need to stop this bullshit and start acting their age and act like men.</blockquote>The thing that made me immediatley erupt into laughter was that Billie Joe had dyed black hair and eye liner caked on with painted fingernails. Being a man indeed. </li> </ol>How can anyone like this garbage?!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112892181063752765?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1128636500070174322005-10-06T18:41:00.000-04:002005-10-06T22:37:57.863-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/potter.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/potter.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />We really need to set a date to stop hating homosexuals (or anyone for that matter). Maybe next week or possibly next month would be nice. Why am I talking about homosexuals only here? Well it seems I see something everyday about the people who prefer their own gender and it nearly always turns negative or is thought to still be very risky.<br />While listening to 700WLW, I nearly agree with everything that is said but yesterday I was really bothered during Bill Cunningham's turn at the mic. The topic was Bush's new pick for the spot on the Supreme Court: Harriet Miers. He didn't really have many reasons to not like her besides the fact that she was a democrat and 60 years old...except that she voted for civil rights of gays and lesbians in 1989. Apparently I missed the day when homosexuals weren't Americans and were instead people living in constant hiding before the police find them and take them away to their native land. On a sidenote, all Bill did during the show was talk about Miers and how she wasn't qualified for the job. I kind of agreed with him until I did a little research and found out that she has been a lawyer for nearly 30 years. So I'm guessing she knows a little about law and how a judge does his/her job. Cunningham made her out to be someone who went to Clown College and failed. Anyway, back to the topic.<br />Another report came out yesterday saying that Harry Potter is gay. Reverend Graham Taylor decided that he would bring his amazing discovery on international news conference and tell the world. What I actually mean by telling the world on a international news conference is that he pissed off a lot of 12 year-olds at a school at which he was asked to leave early. What kind of message is Harry Potter sending to the children who read his books? I mean how could anyone look up to a FICTIONAL CHARACTER when he does well in school, pariticipates in school sports (the broom-flying game with a flying ball/no clue what it's called) and has saves his friend's lives every single day? This Potter character is bad news and needs to be examined a little more thoroughly before any of his new books come out to warp the minds of the young. Also, why is it that when anything younger kids seem to enjoy, some reverend or priest calls it gay? I mean it sounds like something kids in middle school would do.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Jerod: Did you see the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on Saturday morning? It was great!</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />John Ashcroft: Dude, I heard they're totally gay with each othe. April and Splinter bang like filthy sluts. Beastiality and homosexuality are bad!</span><br /><br />Well I guess I would say having sex with animals is a bit odd.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/10/06/potter.gay.reut/index.html">Harry Potter Likes John</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112863650007017432?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1127343423517303352005-09-21T18:45:00.000-04:002005-09-21T18:57:43.720-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/moss.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/moss.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Unless it is like,<br /><blockquote>Do me now!<br /></blockquote>And even then you should take heed. So the reason for Kate Moss looking like she's been doing drugs since about age 1 is because she has been using cocaine for some time. Why do we know this? A magazine in Europe ran a story about drugs and Kate Moss. Opting out of doing the smart thing, Moss decided to say <blockquote>"Yea I totally do drugs. If you wanted to know, I also:<br /><ol> <li>Kill bums<br /> </li> <li>Stab babies</li> <li>Inject past boyfriends with AIDS when we split up<br /> </li> </ol>But other than that, I'm totally straight.<br /></blockquote>I do have to say one thing, I'm glad she's trying to turn the stereotype of only <a href="http://www.foxnews.com/images/122631/1_21_love_courtney_041504.jpg">ugly</a> people doing heavy drugs around.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/09/21/kate.moss.reut/index.html">Cnn Article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112734342351730335?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1127101213505064202005-09-18T22:20:00.000-04:002005-09-18T23:40:13.513-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/nasa.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/nasa.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>NASA, which is short for "National Association for Sweet Avionics," has recently thrown out some plans for public viewing. I found them on the net and put them over there on the left. Just click on them to see the magnificence that is NASA. I guess it is a little better than the <a href="http://www.illinoisleader.com/content/img/f9447/praying.jpg">plans</a> Armstrong had to work with.<br />Going with the theme of terrible plans, I've came up with a list of some of the dumbest solutions to problems in movies. Confused? Too bad here's number 1.<br /><ol> <li><span style="font-weight: bold;">Independence Day</span><br />Yes, feed the aliens some crappy virus made from a crappy laptop computer. I'm pretty sure if extraterrestials can make invasion ships that are larger than most of our largest cities and have a force field that can deflect nuclear weapons, then they most likely have computers that are a little better than whatever the best we have in 1996. And yes I am taking into account that Jeff Goldblum is a complete badass. I <span style="font-style: italic;">still</span> don't buy it.</li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">War of the Worlds</span><br />Besides showing that humans would be completely helpless to giant mechanical death machines...that are shot with lightning under our streets...wait a minute...next.</li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pretty Much Every Action Movie Ever</span><br />Seriously, they're never smart whatsoever and rarely do they make you think. How many times were you ever perplexed by the plot of Predator. Besides thinking: <blockquote>"What is the state that Jesse Ventura Governs and why is this man the governor of anything?"</blockquote> </li> </ol><br /><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/space/09/18/space.moon.reut/index.html">CNN Article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112710121350506420?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1126829049228197402005-09-15T19:53:00.000-04:002005-09-15T20:16:02.503-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/Renee-Zellweger%20copy.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/Renee-Zellweger%20copy.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>The man that <a href="http://images.google.com/images?q=kenny%20chesney%20without%20a%20hat&hl=en&amp;hs=Vv2&lr=&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;c2coff=1&client=firefox-a&amp;rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&sa=N&amp;tab=wi">always has a hat on his head</a> and his ex-bride have now split. It would appear that after five months together, Renee, like many found Kenny to be as annoying as his music. A brief statement was released to the media from Renee that read:<br /><blockquote>"I woke up the next morning and saw him without his hat. He creeped me out. I wanted it over right then but I forced myself to stay together so I didn't look like another horrible celebrity couple marriage. So I decided that five months would be a long enough time to call it a marriage and split.</blockquote>Asked what her future plans were, she said she was just going to continue to get movie roles and squint really hard in them.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/09/15/zellweger.chesney.reut/index.html">Cnn Article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112682904922819740?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1126649355110822692005-09-13T17:38:00.000-04:002005-09-13T18:10:02.566-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/accountable.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/accountable.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>When I ventured onto the CNN site today after work I somehow noticed the gigantic letters that read <blockquote style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:100%;">WHO'S ACCOUNTABLE?/LOOK AT ME!<br /></span></blockquote>Anyway, I decided to check what they have dug up and I must say I really wasn't startled by the answer. Was it the government? Nope. How about Bush? Not him either. The pieces of trash that stayed in their homes when they had the means and good health to leave and save themselves? Surprisingly not. Well who is there left to blame!? <a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/dogma1.jpg">Jesus</a> of course. I actually got the courage to ask for an interview and low and behold he agreed. So here it goes.<br /><blockquote><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 0); font-weight: bold;">NoPantz (NP): Hey thanks for letting me do this it's pretty nice of you.</span><br />Jesus: Well, as crazy as it sounds I died for your sins right?<br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 0); font-weight: bold;">NP: Well true I would suppose.</span><br />Jesus: Well...you don't have any. You're basically perfect, so I just thought I would help you out this once because well you pretty much have everyone else beat by about 3 billion.<br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 0); font-weight: bold;">NP: Good to know but I'm still going to ask you what's up with Katrina and the beatdown it handed New Orleans and the rest of the southern states.</span><br />Jesus: God Dammnit...shit...sorry Dad.<br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 0); font-weight: bold;">NP: Anyway, what was up with this massive death storm?</span><br />Jesus: Well you see the thing is, I was out chilling with Zeus throwing lightning at people and well I accidentally kind of stirred up a little more than I could chew at the time. On the bright side, I did totally hit Tony Blair in the face with an amazingly thrown bolt.<br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 0); font-weight: bold;">NP: Well congrats. But are you going to do anything about this at all or are you just going to let things just kind of ride on out?</span><br />Jesus: Well when it happened, Dad gave me a choice and that was to either sit in my room for 3 weeks or clean the mess up.<br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 0); font-weight: bold;">NP: So you chose the room?</span><br />Jesus: Have you seen that fucking mess!? Seriously it would've taken me at least 20 minutes to get that crap in order and that my son is time I don't have to be spending on getting my hands dirty. Do you see this robe?! Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep clean!? Yea you don't do you? Loser.<br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 0); font-weight: bold;">NP: Did you just call me a loser?</span><br />Jesus: Maybe.<br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 0); font-weight: bold;">NP: Go back to your room.</span><br /></blockquote>That's pretty much how it went word for word. As you can see, Jesus totally wussed out and didn't want to clean up the mess so I guess we are stuck with a government who acts slow and with a leaderless FEMA. We're in good hands.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112664935511082269?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1126482569962300422005-09-11T18:36:00.000-04:002005-09-11T20:44:49.180-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/Pamela-Anderson400_266.666666666667.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/Pamela-Anderson400_266.666666666667.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Seen here, surprisingly without a dick in her mouth, Pamela Anderson was recently named the most powerful Canadian in Hollywood. How the hell that is even possible is beyond me but she somehow passed hepatitis free Canadians such as Jim Carrey and Mike Meyers. When asked what her favorite achievements throughout her career were, she responded with "Probably that one time where people saw my boobs."<br />When not posing for Playboy you might be able to find her with Tommy Lee and a fresh coat of bruises up and down her body or possibly with Kid Rock being gross. And even sometimes with pro surfer Kelly Slater. It's nice seeing her with someone who doesn't <a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/combo4.jpg">look drugged out or tired</a> all the time.<br />In closing I would just like to say this: Anderson has the breasts of a porn star but not as much talent.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112648256996230042?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1126149637218910702005-09-07T23:12:00.000-04:002005-09-07T23:21:14.536-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/earl_p1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/earl_p1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>I'm actually pumped for something that is coming out on television this fall that isn't animated and doesn't have the word ball in it. Jason Lee is starring in a sitcom that may actually add the com to the whole sit thing. The premise is that he's basically a huge loser and suddenly finds karma and thinks of it as the savior to his crappy life. I would say the picture to the left is easily enough for you to watch it but if it's not <a href="http://www.nbc.com/My_Name_Is_Earl/photos/images/earl_p5.jpg">here</a> is a picture of one of Lee's castmates. That's right, Willam from Mallrats is starring in this show and he has apparently lost some pounds along with hair. By the looks of his shot, he will most likely be one of Lee's loser friends. Jason Lee rules at everything and hopefully he can make a show that will get viewership and will also be hilarious.<br /><br />I can't think of anything clever, so <a href="http://nopantzmusic.blogspot.com/2005/09/artist-ion-dissonance-album-solace.html">here's</a> the review for the new Ion Dissonance.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112614963721891070?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1125612584352282422005-09-01T17:54:00.000-04:002005-09-01T18:11:35.770-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/tapeta.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/tapeta.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Dear Mad Max,<br />All the crap that has been said over the past couple of years about Max stemming from The Passion of The Christ should take a backseat right now. We really need you to go to the south and lay down the law however you see fit because people taking food is great but big screen tv's are ridiculous. Seriously, we really don't know what you were trying to prove with The Passion, but we could use your help. It's getting really bad now and it gets worse. Rumor has it that <a href="http://www.inch.com/%7Ewilliam/humungus2.jpg">Lord Humungus</a> and <a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/roadwarrior119.jpg">Wez and his boyfriend?/girlfriend?</a> have already turned up and are just beating the shit out of everything they can find. CNN says that Humungus just punched a tree and it landed on a church. You have to be mad about that right?! I mean c'mon it's my freaking house! I know I have an infinite amount of them but seriously it was really nice and had awesome windows.<br /><br />Get It Done Bro,<br />God<br /><br />P.S. Jesus says hello.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112561258435228242?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1125460861673487022005-08-30T23:30:00.000-04:002005-08-31T00:01:01.723-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/rundmc.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/rundmc.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Terrible things are happening and you pretty much know this already, so what can/should you do? </span><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="https://www.redcross.org/donate/donation-form.asp">Donate</a><span style="font-weight: bold;"> to help the cause.</span><br /><br />In some related Katrina news, Cincinnati is scaring me. The reason being that 700wlw host Bill Cunningham has an amazing talent of being sarcastic everyday and super siking people to think he is actually serious.<br /><br />Super Sike #1-His solution to ending mother nature's hurricane's was to drop some a-bombs in the middle so it would blast everything outward thus dissipating the hurricane as much as possible.<br /><br />After this, for some reason people called in agreeing with him and adding their own amazing advice. I love how the callers pretty much just want to hear themselves on the radio so they say anything they can to do so.<br /><br />Super Sike #2-There has been looting going on for the past day or so and he (Bill) suggested shooting everyone dead that is caught red-handed. It was like the a call to all hicks everywhere. Calls flew in agreeing furiously with these comments. I'm guessing all these callers slept in bed with their rifles and had huge moustaches along with aviators (and are proud of them).<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112546086167348702?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1125373018541400412005-08-29T23:12:00.000-04:002005-08-30T00:03:25.236-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/00002116.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/00002116.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>So have you heard of this game? If you haven't I'm actually kind of surprised because this thing will not stop until it has consumed everyone. You still have no idea what I'm talking about? Gamespot is now saying that this entity has gathered up 4,000,000 subscribers. What do I mean by subscribers? Well after you purchase the game for $50 you <u>have</u> to pay monthly fees of $15 to play online (the only way the game is played). So let's do some simple math and add up the original fee for the game.<br /><blockquote>$50 x 4,000,000 units sold = $200,000,000<br /><br />$15 monthly fee x 4,000,000= $60,000,000<br /></blockquote>And you obviously end up with something ridiculous that no one can count to. This of course doesn't count in all the expenses that they have to use to keep up the hundreds of servers around the world and all the tech help/programmers and God knows what else they need to run a product like this. So there total profit of course whatever those numbers add up to but it's easily in the hundres of millions of dollars off of one game which is in a realm of retardation only meant for Cher and Madonna.<br /><br />Also, out of the 4,000,000 players of this game, 1,000,000 of them are from the U.S. So you most likely know someone who plays it or at least you know someone who knows someone. This thing is everywhere and it's only a moment of time/January til I become weak and purchase it. Be afraid.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.gamespot.com/news/2005/08/29/news_6132187.html">Gamespot</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.gamespot.com/news/2005/06/29/news_6128319.html">Dave Chappelle Loves It</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112537301854140041?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1125211887800563082005-08-28T02:32:00.000-04:002005-08-28T02:51:27.806-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/cnn%27d%211.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/cnn%27d%211.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a>Do you ever get the feeling that the major news stations (in case you're a moron: CNN, Fox, CBS, BBC, NBC, ABC) are just nerdy little kids trying to be hip and learn what the latest curse word may be? And if they get caught they would be like<br /><blockquote style="font-style: italic;">Well John/U.N.'s Kofi Annan said this was true so don't be blaming us!<br /></blockquote>Confused? You shouldn't be but let me try to give you a better example. In the picture to the right you'll see that the text reads like this:<br /><blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;">Hurricane Katrina is now packing winds of up to 145mph, classifying it as a Category 4 storm, the National Hurricane Center said early Sunday. Details soon.</span></blockquote>This is how I honestly think the conversation went down between the two organizations.<br /><br />National Hurricane Center (NHC): Hello NHC, how can we help you?<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">CNN</span>: Hey man what's going on?<br />NHC: Uh is this CNN? If so what do you need?<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">CNN</span>: Just wondering what/if any info there has been on Kat.<br />NHC: Hurricane Katrina?<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">CNN</span>: Whatever, yea.<br />NHC: We've told you the last 7 times you've called in the last 10 minutes that there has been no chance whatsoever. Why do you keep calling.<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">CNN</span>: Well do you think anything will happen in the near future...say 3 minutes?<br />NHC: No! Wait, if we tell you it's now a category 4 storm will you leave us the fuck alone and let us do our job?<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">CNN</span>: Maybe!<br />NHC: Fine! It is! Now stop calling so damn much.<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">CNN</span>: Talk to you in a few.<br />NHC: Wait, what? You said...<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">CNN</span>: *beep* (cell phone)<br /><br />CNN is as juvenile as Ted Turner's pick up lines. Whatever that means.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112521188780056308?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1125107784534380852005-08-26T21:29:00.000-04:002005-08-26T22:02:38.260-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/18gauge.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/18gauge.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />The first time I heard anything about Ryan Franklin is when he dropped me a comment completely out of nowhere on a <a href="http://nopantz.blogspot.com/2005/02/oscar-gallery-recap.html">post</a> about the recent Oscars that had taken place. He said I was hilarious and I most graciously agreed and then he did me a pretty cool favor of linking my site to his. At that time I believe he was doing a technology type blog similar to <a href="http://www.gizmodo.com/">Gizmodo</a>. I of course returned the favor and linked his site to mine since I found it pretty interesting and it didn't look like a 3rd grader had put it together unlike my site where I just use the simple templates that are already available to me through blogger. Anyway, back to Mr. Franklin. He continued to comment after some of my posts and I did the same to him as well. It was easy to not feel bad about linking his site from mine because it was always done well so I never felt like it was a pity link just because he was nice to me like some people have been before on here. Well I kind of wanted to make this short and sweet and so far it's fairly short but anything but sweet.<br />So in closing I just wanted to say have a sweet time with whatever you're planning on doing and stop by every once in a while if you have nothing else better to do than read this little chunk of internet space. Have a super sweet life <a href="http://www.nndb.com/people/940/000024868/estrada-sm.jpg">Ryan Frankin</a>.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112510778453438085?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1124996626450939022005-08-25T14:50:00.000-04:002005-08-26T14:32:35.673-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/milk.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/milk.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Besides being able to kill trolls in the movie Earnest: Scared Stupid, milk was thought to have been able to "build strong bodies!" because of all the calcium it had. Little did we all know that if you abuse milk in major league baseball, you're most likely looking at a suspension and a little bit of confusion.<br /><br />What am I talking about? It seems that the Marlins pitcher Brad Penny dared the clubs' batboy to drink a gallon of milk in under an hour and to not throw up. What would the batboy get in return? $500! Who wouldn't take this bet? I'm assuming the kid is around the age of 10-18, so of course someone of that age would be willing to do anything including drink a whole gallon of delicious milk. Well the dare was attempted and it is reported that he took down the whole gallon but wasn't able to keep it in his stomach and spewed it all over Jack McKeon. Well actually puking on McKeon is just something that I made up but knowing him (I don't know him) he probably just laughed at the boy then gave him a new car. This is when the awesome upper management from the Marlins comes in and says something along the lines of:<br /><blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;">Hey! This is a baseball team we aren't allowed to have fun, you're suspended for six days without pay...sun flower seeds!</span></blockquote>Bastards! Anyway Brad Penny had this to say:<br /><blockquote style="font-style: italic;">It's kind of ridiculous that you get a 10-game suspension for steroids and a six-game suspension for milk. It's ridiculous that they worry about stuff like that, it shows they (the Marlins organization) don't know anything about the game. That kind of stuff goes on everywhere. It didn't affect the way he worked, the way he did his job.</blockquote>Key word: Ridiculous.<br /><br /><a href="http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/4808232">Fox Sports</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112499662645093902?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1124866307978715022005-08-24T02:30:00.000-04:002005-08-25T01:06:38.376-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/GEICO1096664346462.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/GEICO1096664346462.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Well after some events that have unfolded recently it has come to my attention that I need some new car insurance fucking stat. I've been advised to go to certain places but I thought about that place I see on the tv nearly every commercial. I mean if they have sweet commercials (for insurance companies anyway) their insurance can't be all that bad right? Duh. Anway, I called up Geico to get my free insurance quote and this is <span style="font-style: italic;">almost</span> exactly how the conversation went down.<br /><blockquote></blockquote><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">NoPantz</span>: I need a quote...<span style="font-style: italic;">immediately</span>.<br />Tom: Well then I will have to ask you some questions the first being a/s/l.<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">NoPantz</span>: Dude this isn't a chat room.<br />Tom: Umm true but this factors into the final price.<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">NoPantz</span>: Oh alright then.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">[All the boring information is given and the quote is finally ready to be announced]</span><br /><br />Tom: Well let's see here what the compuer is going to...holy crap!<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">NoPantz</span>: Did my awesomeness destroy it?<br />Tom: Damn close actually. It turns out that you're so fucking harsh that we will pay you to use our service.<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">NoPantz</span>: So what you're telling me is that..<br />Tom: Yes, yes you know what I'm saying but there is no time to repeat what I've already said in incredibly simple terms that any human with the brain of Mike Strawser could understand. Will you sign?<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">NoPantz</span>: Will I sign...that is the question?<br />Tom: What the hell is with you and repitition?<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">NoPantz</span>: It intrigues me is all.<br />Tom: That's almost as ridiculous as it is false.<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">NoPantz</span>: Are you telling me that I don't know how I feel about certain things?<br />Tom: No no, of course not. Listen, tell me what I have to say to get you to sign with us.<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">NoPantz</span>: Tell me how great I am.<br />Tom: Uhh..<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">NoPantz</span>: DO IT.<br />Tom: Hilarious.<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">NoPantz</span>: Check.<br />Tom: Handsome.<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">NoPantz</span>: Check.<br />Tom: Full of himself.<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">NoPantz</span>: Che...hey fuck you man.<br />Tom: Haha super siiiiiiiiike. This isn't even Geico for some reason you called Muffler Brothers with hopes of getting car insurance for some reason. Well I have to get back to work because it's nearly been 30 minutes.<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">NoPantz</span>: Checkmate.<br /><br />It was kind of embarrassing but that's how it went. How I confused Geico with Muffler Brothers in the phonebook, I will never know but at least it gave me something to write about.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112486630797871502?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1124826025522446572005-08-23T13:44:00.000-04:002005-08-23T15:40:25.630-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/influence%20of%20satan.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/influence%20of%20satan.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />It's been all over the news that Pat Robertson has apparently asked for the U.S. to assassinate the Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. I can see where he's coming from since it would be the Christian thing to do. Scratch that, when I said Christian, I meant wrong and when I said I can see where he's coming from, I meant I hope he and Hitler become good friends in hell while Nysrogh ram pitchforks into their eyes and gives them manicures with a <a href="http://www.kultofathena.com/images%5C2605_l.jpg">flail</a>.<br />When I thought about how he could say something so ridiculous and still be a part of the <span style="font-style: italic;">amazing </span>700 Club at the same time, I was baffled. Barry Bonds is part of the 700 Club and he said he wouldn't even say something <span style="font-style: italic;">that</span> asinine and I'm pretty positive that Bonds hates all of mankind.<br />When Hugo Chavez was asked to respond to these reports here's what he had to say:<br /><blockquote style="font-style: italic;">Who the fuck is Pat Robertson?</blockquote>Apparently the 700 Club isn't so big in South America.<br />His "reasons" for wanting Hugo out of office is because he believes Venezuela to be <span style="font-style: italic;"><blockquote>"a launching pad for Communist infiltration and Muslim extremism all over the continent"</blockquote></span>A quick fact about Venezuela:<br /><blockquote>The U.S. State Department Web site says 98 percent of the population are Roman Catholic or protestant.</blockquote>Good ol' Pat hasn't yet explained why he thinks all hell will break loose in Venezuela as of yet.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/08/23/robertson.chavez/index.html">[Cnn]</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112482602552244657?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1124406643010214122005-08-18T18:45:00.000-04:002005-08-18T19:36:45.530-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/jimmy.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/jimmy.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Well it's been a year and a couple days since this little site started up and since then the site tells me that I have posted <span style="font-weight: bold;">238</span> stories. When I think about that, I'm a little surprised. For one thing that I actually stayed with it for this long and two that the number isn't much smaller. 238 is right around 65% of a year, so that means I was doing way too much work for that amount of time. I can't obviously tell you what to expect in the future of this site because I do it for me mostly just to relax and sometimes laugh. I don't have any huge plans with it at all since I don't consider this a money-making opportunity. I know I could place ads by Google all over this thing and make tens of cents per month but I figure why bother? I hate ads on every single site I go to so why rape my own site with something I hate.<br />At the end of yesterday's post I said I was going to come up with a top 5 or top 10 of what I consider the best from my site. Well the final number came to 13 which I'm actually happy with. So here are what I consider my best work for one way or another.<br /><ol> <li><a href="http://nopantz.blogspot.com/2004/09/madonna-is-rotten-slut-of-woman.html">Madonna is a Rotten Slut of a Woman</a><br />What I like the most about this post is the comments that were left and the response I made to them.</li><li><a href="http://nopantz.blogspot.com/2005/06/super-sweet-adventures-of-batman.html">The Super Sweet Adventures of Batman</a><br />Before the newest Batman movie came out I was pretty pumped for it. I wanted to do something a little different than just write about how good this movie came out, so instead I made a mini-comic involving: Batman, Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise with a little bit of Oprah thrown in at the end.</li><li><a href="http://nopantz.blogspot.com/2004/09/80s-sucked-and-youre-all-morons-for.html">The 80's Sucked and You're All Morons For Liking It</a><br />I'm a very strong advocate for absolutely hating the 80's. Everyone has heard my point of view on this topic and honestly I'm tired of talking about. One thing I won't get tired of about the 80's is how bad the music was. Yes, you heard me right, music from the 80's completely blows.</li><li><a href="http://nopantz.blogspot.com/2005/02/only-1995.html">The Capone's!</a><br />I, like many males, for some reason have a fascination with the mob and especially the best mobster to walk the Earth: Al Capone. When I thought about it, Capone sounded very similar to Ramone or Ramones. I put the two together and decided to make a mock-up of a old rock band featuring Al and some of his gang.</li><li><a href="http://nopantz.blogspot.com/2005/02/teachers-want-youto-have-sex-with-them.html">Teachers Want You...To Have Sex With Them</a><br />Stories come out every single year about a kid getting on a teacher. Well I wondered what the conversation between a teacher and her spouse might be like after he heard about the incident.</li><li><a href="http://nopantz.blogspot.com/2005/02/man-who-started-metal-militia.html">The Man Who Started The Metal Militia</a><br />For some reason, I always loved to write about The Pope no matter what the story was. Because either if I said he was truly an atheist or a metal head, if he read it he would probably either laugh or just be confused. What he probably wouldn't be is mad because he always seemed so loving. He's the freakin' Pope!</li> <li><a href="http://nopantz.blogspot.com/2005/01/this-guy-wasnt-so-bad.html">This Guy Wasn't So Bad</a><br />You can say whatever you want about Vlad The Impaler but what you can't say is that he wasn't interesting. Everyone knows he is the basis for Dracula but I found some other things most people don't know about him.</li><li><a href="http://nopantz.blogspot.com/2005/07/hi-im-greedy-piece-of-shit.html">"Hi! I'm a Greedy Piece of Shit!"</a><br />I hate everything that Terrell Owens stands for. Whatever he's been doing recently at Eagles training camp I could care less about. He's worthless unless his sole purpose is to piss me off.</li><li><a href="http://nopantz.blogspot.com/2005/02/theres-no-more-raising-roof-not-even.html">No More Raising The Roof, Not Even for White Frat Guys</a><br />I hate celebrations in the NFL or the NBA for that matter unless Chad Johnson is doing it at the Super Bowl. So I decided to celebrate in some usual ways in some not-so-usual situations.</li><li><a href="http://nopantz.blogspot.com/2005/02/oscar-gallery-recap.html">Oscar Recap</a><br />Oscar time is the right time for people to look like idiots. Some actually decided to open their eyes as well as their wallets and chose some pretty sweet duds.</li> <li><a href="http://nopantz.blogspot.com/2005/08/leaving-anytime-soon.html">Leaving Anytime Soon?</a><br />I know this was posted last night but what can I say? I like it and every college freshman should go over it at least 7 times.</li><li><a href="http://nopantz.blogspot.com/2005/07/heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeres-saddam.html">Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Saddam!</a><br />I hate reality shows and I'm also not a huge fan of Saddam Hussein. What would happen if they came together?</li><li><a href="http://nopantz.blogspot.com/2005/07/not-so-scarlet-letter.html">The Not-So-Scarlet Letter</a><br />Pitt and Jen split up and everyone cried because they thought they were the perfect couple. I saw a pretty perfect set up for a story.</li> </ol>This would pretty much be my best-of list for the past year. Reading over them, I saw some pretty horrendous spelling and grammar mistakes but like I said I'm not getting paid so you can just deal with them. Here's to another year of hating people and picking out minor details and writing one or two paragraphs about them.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112440664301021412?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1124347825365871282005-08-18T02:21:00.000-04:002005-08-18T04:00:36.853-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/Going-away.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/Going-away.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />For many people, the coming days/weeks mean a new life or a new chapter of life is beginning. What I mean by this, is that a new school year is all up on's and is damn close to kicking off. What I keep hearing from many of the people that I'm talking to/listening to/stalking, is that they know only the essential items to bring and nothing else. All to often do I hear:<br /><blockquote style="font-style: italic;">I have my clothes, computer, music and the items that I'm bringing for the dorm:fridge, microwave etc. Is there anything else that I need?</blockquote>Well you don't think you've thought of everything now do you? I mean what would you know? You're a college freshman! So what I've done is gone ahead and compiled a list of things that you will need to have at hand just in case a certain need or idea pops into your head.<br /><br /><ol> <li><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Works/Aluminum Foil/Large Plastic Containers Such As Gatorade Bottles</span><br />What the hell would you need this crap for? For small explosions of course. Nothing screams attention whore on move-in day like a face full of acid and pieces of melted plastic coming at your roomate or anyone in your dorm hallway at the time of detonation. This way people will remember you for the rest of their lives as the person who blew up things on the first day of school. You might be in a jail cell for a short period of time but think of all the sweet dorm cred you will have! Not only will people want to party with you, girls will undoubtedly throw their v-card out the window in hopes of getting just a few moments with you. And that's all it will take! Because you're a college freshmen!<br /></li><br /><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">Caffeine Pills</span><br />Under the counter, over the counter whatever, just get them. You will need to stay awake and cram for the finals that are coming up and since you haven't studied for them...ever, you will need to do some serious educational devouring if you have any hopes of making it to second semester/quarter without being on the academic probation list. Who cares if they're addictve and can get you into trouble, have you ever seen what's on late at night while you're not studying? If only television broadcasters realized that that <a href="http://www.dvdverdict.com/reviews/mia2pack.php">Braddock: Missing In Action 2&3</a> were as good as I know they are, this stuff would be on non-stop duing prime time instead of things like The Super Bowl. Just listen to the background to these two gems:<br /><blockquote style="font-style: italic;">Understand that, before these two sequels, or more specifically this prequel and this anti-sequel, or better yet these two attempts at extending the money-making machine of the Norris movie dynasty were made, Chuck made a film called Missing in Action. It told the tale of James Braddock, an ex-P.O.W. who one man armied his way back to Vietnam to retrieve some left behind servicemen imprisoned by those crazy Commie Cong.</blockquote>Did you read that? "Money-making machine of the Norris movie dynasty". Case dismissed...or thrown out. Whatever means I win. I'm not a fucking lawyer, get off my back.</li><br /><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pictures of Every Single Person From School That You've Ever Known</span><br />Want people to ask you:<blockquote>Damn! Who dat be!? That's a fly ass honey right thurr.</blockquote>Nevermind that she has her hands tied behind her back and her feet tied to the wooden legs of the chair because it's not visible in the sweet head shots you have taken of everyone. Plus, if college girls see you with all these girls in pictures they start to think just because you aren't so hot in the face doesn't mean you aren't hot in the sack. Because if you look like the Titanic just dumped it's septic tank on your face then there has to be something in your pants that's worth mentioning because if not these girls surely wouldn't be lining up to have their picture taken with you right? Of course I'm right.<br /></li> </ol>And there you have it folks. Those are some pretty freaking important things that you <span style="font-style: italic;">will</span> need when you get to school for first semester/quarter.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">And now for something completely different.</span><br />Holy shit! This blog is over a year old. I can't believe I forgot about it since I have a note on my desk reminding me to write something on this very subject. Expect something later today (the18th) on my top 5 or top 10 posts that have come out of my tiny web space in the past year. Picking a top 5 or top 10 out of 238 posts shouldn't be too hard right?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112434782536587128?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1124305095399777392005-08-17T14:48:00.000-04:002005-08-17T15:02:05.260-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/logo.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/logo.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />While browsing Cnn.com like I always do I came across a article on:<br /><blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;">What Are The Best Cars For New College Students</span></blockquote>Interested, I clicked on it immediately. Everything on the list was going great until I reached the Jeep Wrangler. The point of this article is that it is supposed to glorify every car they speak of. Well that didn't exactly happen with the Jeep. Here's the description.<br /><blockquote style="font-style: italic;"><span class="header">Jeep Wrangler</span><br /> <b>Starting price:</b> $18,070<br /><br />This is a little like a restaurant critic pointing you to White Castle. The Wrangler isn't really good. In fact, it's mostly awful, except for inimitable styling and serious off-road ability. But for certain adventurous youths, a bare-bones truck is just what they want.<br /><br />The Wrangler is noisy inside, it rides rough, handles poorly and the seats are uncomfortable. It's also none too practical. But, if you're young enough to stand it, it somehow turns out to be a lot of fun. <span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Cnn.com by Peter Valdes-Dapena</span></span></blockquote>I'm totally there. It's good that he includes a automobile that is apparently the worst thing ever made in his eyes on a list for new college students. You know the people who drink non-stop. It's good they can have a car with these "abilities." Either way, Wrangler's still rule.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/AUTOS/carreviews/07/27/college_cars/index.html">[Article]</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112430509539977739?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1124221514478767452005-08-16T15:17:00.000-04:002005-08-16T16:29:44.176-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/116-00620.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/116-00620.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />What do you get when you mix cheap technology with people from Virginia? Riots of course! Just to make sure this theory held true, Richmond, Virginia held a sale for ibooks at $50 a piece. And guess what? The theory held true. A close personal friend of mine whom I've never met or talked to had this to say:<br /><blockquote>This is total, total chaos.</blockquote>Just in case you're keeping score that's actually total squared. To make this story sound even more stereotypical guess where they were being sold? The Richmond International Speedway! Mixing Nascar fans with computers actually sounds like a bad idea but it turns out that it's actually a disastrous idea.<br />This account of what happened is easily the funniest thing I've seen in a very long time:<br /><blockquote style="font-style: italic;">People threw themselves forward, screaming and pushing each other. A little girl's stroller was crushed in the stampede. Witnesses said an elderly man was thrown to the pavement, and someone in a car tried to drive his way through the crowd.</blockquote>Why run on top of people with your puny feet when you can let the wheels of a no doubt 1950's Lincoln do the crushing for you?<br />Jesse Sandler had the bright idea of using a folding chair to beat people back that tried to jump in front of him in the line.<br /><blockquote>I took my chair here and I threw it over my shoulder and I went, 'Bam.</blockquote>You heard it here folks, he went "bam."<br />And finally, the quote of the day goes to Paul Proto for having the gray matter to come up with this:<br /><blockquote>It's rather strange that we would have such a tremendous response for the purchase of a laptop computer.</blockquote>Yea, who would want to buy a laptop for $50 that is usually in the price range of $999 and $1,299? It's just unheard of Paul!<br /><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/08/16/computer.frenzy.ap/index.html"><br />[Article]</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112422151447876745?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1124040307301666532005-08-14T12:57:00.000-04:002005-08-14T13:25:07.870-04:00What is Fraturday you may ask? Well it's a certain Saturday of every month that guys have a party and act like they're in a frat. Why do they do this? Well as we all know for the most part frats are probably the most homosexual thing going for today's college youth. So to make fun of them we dress in pink collared shirts, pop the collars and tell the most uncreative jokes we can think of. Something like these:<br /><br />"Hey I fucked your mother last night"<br />"Oh yea? Well I fucked yours too and your dad so fuck you."<br /><br />Simply brilliant. Other than acting like idiots, Hart and I decided to make the sweestest beer pong this side of...well pretty much everywhere. We finished it in the nick of time and actually had quite a few people show up and had a great time. I don't have a ton of pictures because I was helping a certain someone who was not feeling so hot.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/a62.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/a62.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/a3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/a3.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/a53.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/a52.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/a7.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/a7.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112404030730166653?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1123772611297810372005-08-11T10:37:00.000-04:002005-08-11T11:04:28.160-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/rolling_stones_01a1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/rolling_stones_01a1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />The Rolling Stones have made twice the amount of albums than I have friends, so what's all this about a new song causing controversy? Their new album: <span style="font-style: italic;">A Bigger Bang</span> is due out on September 6th and it is already gaining attention for the song <span style="font-style: italic;">Sweet Neo Con</span>. There are some lyrics in it that seem to refer to Bush and that raised some eyebrows and questions that Jagger quickly dismisses.<blockquote>"It is not really aimed at anyone, it's not aimed, personally aimed, at President Bush. It wouldn't be called 'Sweet Neo Con' if it was."</blockquote>I mean it's not like The Stones are strangers to controversy right? How about when they appeared on The Ed Sullivan Show one hundred years ago and Mick said the correct lyrics to "Let's Spend The Night Together?" Of course it was just speculation that he mumbled the words to resemble the blasphemous correct lyrics. Of course the point to all this is that he wasn't supposed to say them because they were considered bad language or just not appropriate for the times.<br />Either way, how can we say anything negative about these rock gods? We can't. Why is this? Because at 60 pushing 70 they're making music that is better than 100% of the "rock" bands that are out today. Just listen to their new songs <span style="font-style: italic;">Rough Justice</span> or <span style="font-style: italic;">Streets of Love</span>, they're still making old rock songs that would blow anything that has been made recently out of the water. I do have to admit though that the lyrics pretty much have to be towards Bush when I read them.<blockquote>How come you're so wrong? My sweet neo-con, where's the money gone, in the Pentagon.<br />It's liberty for all, democracy's our style, unless you are against us, then it's prison without trial.</blockquote>Even at whatever age Jagger is at he's still a better lyricist then any punk band's front-man you can think of that writes similar songs. He's basically the original punk...but with a incredibly good band to back him up.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Music/08/11/rolling.stones.ap/index.html">[Article]</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112377261129781037?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1123479474087406572005-08-08T01:05:00.000-04:002005-08-08T01:37:54.116-04:00When Poland comes into town it usually proves to be a pretty sweet time and this weekend was no exception. I'm not going to write much except for the bare minimum because it is about 1:15am and I have work in 6 hours. Anyway, on Friday Poland and Rob had the brilliant idea to play 9/9/9 after Rob had seen the rules on the net. This, like most drinking games has the easiest rules ever. They include drinking nine beers and eating 9 hot dogs while watching 9 innings of baseball. Doesn't sound tough at all right? Well you're sadly mistaken. When you get possibly the worst hot dogs known to man then it starts tough. Suffice it to say I made it to 5 beers and about 4 dogs. It was gross. 3 out of 7 made it and they happen to be named Adam Cornell, Jesse Clum and Jesse Frazee. Clum took top honors as he drank a beer and ate a hot dog in about 2 pitches. Here are some picturess from that night.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/a52.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/a51.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/a61.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/a61.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/a9.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/a9.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/a10.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/a10.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/a13.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/a13.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/a20.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/a20.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />The next night was actually even better. It started with Rob, Katie, Poland and I going to El Camino and getting delicious food with margarita's. So basically we started drinking atabout 1:30 and didn't stop til about 3:30am when we went to sleep. Don't think of me as an alcoholic or anything because the only time I really ever drink is when Poland is in town or if I'm in Athens. Anyway, there was a plan to go to Celina which got scrapped pretty quickly after we thought about it for two seconds. Instead we headed of to The Fairlawn and had some dinner around 6 and got some more beer. Rolling Rock was my choice as it always is and I decided that I was actually going to drink quite a bit tonight. I was really drunk and I think proposed to Laura. That was pretty sweet because I think she said yes. Oh well here are some more pictures.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/a25.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/a25.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/a28.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/a28.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/a31.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/a31.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/a33.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/a33.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/a34.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/a34.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />That's pretty much it and now I'm going to sleep.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112347947408740657?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1123011657199493882005-08-02T15:24:00.000-04:002005-08-02T21:30:04.356-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/screenie1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/200/screenie.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />By now it's old news that Palmeiro used steroids and was caught in a drug test either yesterday or the day before. While glancing at ESPN's site yesterday the picture to the left was the main story. While looking at the caption under Palmeiro's picture, Stark's comment caught my eye.<br /><blockquote>Shame on Raffy? No, shame on baseball.</blockquote>Wrong. In his article he talks about how it's MLB's fault that they left the problem go on for so long. I'll admit that baseball should've done something about this if they in fact knew about it and I will also say that Bud Selig needs piss off the mafia so he can swim with the fishes. But you're telling me after all the hoopla in baseballs' offseason about steroids stemming from Canseco's book that it's still the MLB's fault? Are you kidding me? This guy knew what he was doing just like every other player who has done steroids knew. Just because baseball didn't do anything in the past about this problem doesn't mean that these guys didn't know it was illegal. If people like Barry Bonds and Palmeiro get into the hall of fame with known steroid use then why the hell shouldn't Rose be in it for his achievements as a player? Marty Brennaman for commisioner.<br /><br /><a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/columns/story?columnist=stark_jayson&id=2122193">[Article]</a><br /><br />Also, on a sidenote, I know I'vd added a couple of different links to the site recently but if you check out any of them make sure it's <span style="font-style: italic;">"The Adventures of Me And Jesus."</span> Chad decided to start doing some writing while he is staying in Iraq and his first two posts are pretty good. Check it out <a href="http://ihatebillcrites.blogspot.com/">now</a> and yes I know the title of the blog isn't grammatically correct. When asked about this, Chad replied "Man...fuck grammar."<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112301165719949388?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1122840060593386692005-07-31T15:18:00.000-04:002005-08-11T11:05:29.710-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/sunday.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/320/sunday.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />So who's the freaking evil villian that came up with Sunday's? Don't even say God because I don't think he was standing around someday thinking: <blockquote>Well Adam is a complete fucking moron and Eve is sinning like nobody's business so I guess it's up to me to name these days for them. I mean Adam isn't a that bad but what the hell is with that ridiculous fig leaf on his wang? I just don't get these people at all. I guess this was one idea that I clearly didn't think out.</blockquote>Nothing ever happens on these days. Nothing, ever. It's either a horrible day outside where you actually had something planned or it's an amazing day but no one is around at all and you can't enjoy it.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/fdl-gold1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/320/fdl-gold1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><h2 style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size:130%;">The Kansas City Royals Of Real-Life</span></h2>Simply put, these guys couldn't have a good week if their life depended on it. Over the past 2-3 years I've heard nothing but bad news coming from this organization. How can they stand this? First it's not letting gay boy scout leaders in, money problems and now they had about a week of getting dominated by mother nature. Let's take a look at some of the things that the boy scouts like to do:<br /><ol> <li>Fishing</li> <li>Canoeing</li> <li>Rock Climbing<br /></li> </ol>After reviewing all of those carefully, I have found that dying isn't on there. This being said, that doesn't mean it's not something they don't do. Case in point:<br /><br /><ol> <li><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/07/29/scouts.lightning.ap/index.html">Lightning</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/07/28/scouts.jamboree/index.html">Time To Get Ill</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/07/25/jamboree.deaths.ap/index.html">Not Exactly Fool Proof</a><br /></li> </ol>I'm definitely not laughing at these terrible happenings but find that at least 2 of these were 100% preventable.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112284006059338669?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1122670453967299992005-07-29T16:38:00.000-04:002005-07-29T16:54:13.973-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/19462-7978.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/320/19462-7978.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />In some recent news about everyone's favorite beached whale turned lesbian, Rosie O'Donnel is apparently pissed off at one Sean Combs. What in the dickens' for you may ask? Mr. Combs set off a ton of fireworks which happens to be a direct backyard neighbor to Shamu. She was quoted as saying:<br /><blockquote>Sometime around 10pm Sean, my neighbor here in Miami, had a fireworks show right in his backyard. How fun, I had four crying kids and a puppy who peed himself whimpering in terror."</blockquote>Combs retaliated with this masterpiece:<br /><blockquote>Rosie, I'm sorry if I had too many fireworks, It will happen again, though.</blockquote>This pretty much boils down to something like: <blockquote>I could really care less what you think of my sweet parties. You're just jealous that attractive people show up at my house and people like Barbara Streisand and Madonna hang out with you.</blockquote>I actually got a quick couple of questions answered by him so here they go.<br /><br /><blockquote>NP: How do you feel about Rosie living behind you?<br /><br /><blockquote>That bitch is horrendous</blockquote>NP: Horrendous in what way exactly?<br /><br /><blockquote>In a way thats indescribable to the common man know what I'm sayin'?</blockquote>NP: Not exaclty, can you do a bit of clarifying?<br /><br /><blockquote>I honestly have no idea what I'm talking about. Can I leave now?</blockquote>NP: Umm sure.</blockquote>As you can see, the little interview really didn't have much in the content department but that's ok because I'm invited to the "Everyone's Invited But Rosie" party next week.<br /><br /><a href="http://entertainment.msn.com/music/hotgossipB3">[Article]</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112267045396729999?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1122426565604661862005-07-26T20:45:00.000-04:002005-07-26T21:11:07.133-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/combo.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/320/combo.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />What is the only thing that will stop terrorism? No it's obviously not taking drastic measures and bombing other countries.<br /><blockquote>Well what the hell is left?</blockquote> You may be asking yourself. Well it's simply one phrase: condemn the hell out of terrorism. I mean that's what everyone seems to be doing as of late. And might I add it's working <span style="font-style: italic;">so</span> well. When you condemn someone from doing something, it's like telling them there's no way they can do what they set out to do. Compare it to the triple-dog-dare from A Christmas Story. Once it has been issued there's no going back...or forward, whatever direction you were progressing in. Imagine what terrorists must think when they're condemned from bombing places.<br /><blockquote>Shit! Not again! Well mark off London and the rest of England because Prime Minister Blair just gave a us a big "no" from any further plans. Where does this leave use to go after?<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"></span><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">Well it looks like China is the only place we haven't really pissed off as of late.<br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">Fuck that! Those guys are nuts.</span><br /></span></blockquote>From now on I condemn:<br /><ol> <li>It being so damn hot</li> <li>Anyone saying anything bad about The Who</li> <li>Joan Rivers from living.<br /></li> </ol><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112242656560466186?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1122327810929480872005-07-25T17:15:00.000-04:002005-07-26T18:16:10.800-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/Aniston.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/320/Aniston.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Some slightly odd news on the Aniston front. It appears that back in 1984 that Miss Aniston had a little fling when she was 16 and now her one-time boyfriend is going to auction off the love letters that each other sent back and forth to eachother. I know what you're thinking,<br /><blockquote>Wow, I'll give 100 shillings!</blockquote>And who wouldn't?! But since I don't have the said love letters, I decided I would give you guys something even better...for free. Yes, I have stumbled upon the love letters between Jenifer and Brad in their last couple of weeks together. Without further adieu, here they are:<br /><center><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/aniston1st.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/aniston1stsmall.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/brad1.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/brad1small.jpg" /></a><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/aniston2nd.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/aniston2ndsmall.jpg" /> </a><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/brad2.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/brad2small.jpg" /></a><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/aniston3rd.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/aniston3rdsmall.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/brad3.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/brad3small.jpg" /></a><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/aniston4th.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/aniston4thsmall.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/brad4.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/brad4small.jpg" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">Click to enlarge.</span></center><br />Ouch.<br /><br /><a href="http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=197271">[Article]</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112232781092948087?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1122065783411526632005-07-22T16:27:00.000-04:002005-07-22T16:57:13.573-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/Terrell%20Ownes332%20copy.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/320/Terrell%20Ownes332%20copy.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Good ol' Terrell! If he were to stay with the Eagles with his current contract he would be making nearly half as much as the international Live 8 concert is sending to Africa. One man in the U.S. is making half of what Africa is getting from a global concert. And guess what? He is talking about being traded because he isn't getting as much as he thinks he deserves. He had this to say:<br /><blockquote>"What it all boils down to is I'm going to do what's best for my family. I don't even have to play for the Eagles, to be honest. I can go play with any other team and still be productive."</blockquote>I can see where he's coming from with this because when the Greenville City Park traded for me they knew what kind of package they were getting. In doing so they knew a new contract was going to have to be worked out with me because frankly what Eikenberry's was paying previously wasn't cutting it anymore. The new contract was going to be...$6.27 per hour. That's right, no more lollygagging around I was here and meant business. When the day came to get my <a href="http://www.business-supply.com/product_images/image/EB031052.gif">reflective vest</a> (jersey) so car's don't slam me when I'm in the middle of the road I had something on my mind that wasn't going to stay in there any longer.<br /><blockquote>"I think it's abundantly clear that you're going to get a professional in every sense of the word. I'll cut your grass, I'll pick up your trash and most importantly I'll make fun of Mike Strawser til I'm blue in the face but what I want in return is something that I feel that I've earned and that is my $6.27 per hour. If you can't fork it over I hear Coldwater has a sweet park with many many babes."<br /></blockquote>Terrell Owens is the kind of person that makes me hate sports.<br /><br /><a href="http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/3790028">[Article]</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112206578341152663?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1121625878716472882005-07-17T15:18:00.000-04:002005-07-18T00:13:14.766-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/vert.saddam.jun.ap.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/320/vert.saddam.jun.ap.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Even though he's about two seconds away from a public execution, he still has to go on trial. During that time he could still actually give something back to the world.<br />Is it just me or does Mr. Hussein look like he's posing for an upcoming television show? He has that look of "What else could happen to me?" Much like <a href="http://www.tvland.com/shows/aitf/images/shows/5.jpg">Archie Bunker</a>. Well this could simply be his rebirth into the mainstream...until he's killed. Anyway what are some ideas going through Hollywood's elite for show's he could possibly fill<span style="font-weight: bold;">?</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><font><br />1.<span style="font-weight: bold;">Saddam'd!<br /></span>Imagine Ashton Kutcher's <span style="font-style: italic;">Punk'd</span>...but hilarious. There wouldn't be any of this wimpy "keeping Allen Iverson out of some crappy party" stuff going on. It would acutally be a full fledged reality show. </span><blockquote><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font>Haha! Look at the Health Minister Riyadh Ahmed squirm back into the corner of that room. That's so like him to not like being killed. Ok, that's enough, just start pumping the mustard gas into the room</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></blockquote><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font> Moments later...<br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><blockquote><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font>Hahaha Ahmed! You've been Saddam'd!<br />*Corpse says nothing*</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></blockquote><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font>2. </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Survivor: Iraq</span><br /><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font>We now tune into Survivor: Iraq with a developing story...<br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);"></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><blockquote><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);"><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font></span><font></span><font></span></span></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></s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(Accountant): You SOB!, you just shot me!</span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Saddam (Dictator): Well, you'll have that.</span><br /><font></span><font></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">Ken (Accountant): What do you mean I'll have that you freakin' psycho! I was just introducing mysel...Oww! You shot me again, what the hell is going on!?</span><br /><font></span><font></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Saddam (Dictator): Wow, I was aiming for your face that time so you would shut up. I guess all that time in jail has weakened my once incredible talent to handle a gun.<br /></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">Ken (Accountant): Mr Burnette! Are you going to do something about...</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"></span><font></span><font>Saddam (Dictator): There we go. There's that aim I was telling you about.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></blockquote><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font>3. </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">American Idol: Dictator's Special</span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><blockquote><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font></span><font></span></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font>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Listen Paula, I've fed women to lions better looking than you so don't try to get on my good side. Randy say that word one more time and I will turn you into </span><span style="font-style: italic;">dog </span>food. Simon...you remind me of a young me. But that doesn't mean I won't kill you.<br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></blockquote><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font>Yea, I think anyone of those three would work well.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112162587871647288?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1121568505149346802005-07-17T11:39:00.000-04:002005-07-17T15:21:04.603-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/assaut71.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/320/assaut71.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Possibly the best week of television that is not sports-related is finally here. Is it sweeps week for all the major networks? Hell no, it's shark week on The Discovery Channel. Also known as "The Best Great White Footage Since Last Year." Either way, whoever's brainchild this thing was deserves to be treated to an endless supply of ice cream and blow jobs (because whoever came up with this was undoubtedly a man). I've been watching The Discovery Channel pretty much religiously during this week since I can remember. And that's saying something because I'm not a very religious man. I found a couple sweet pictures of the coolest predator in the sea/universe that isn't extinct or named <a href="http://www.fossilguy.com/topics/megshark/Meg.GW.compar.jpg">megalodon</a>. <a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/jumping-shark-.jpg"><br /></a> <ol> <li><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/jumping-shark-.jpg">This picture</a> almost looks fake to me for some reason but I know they do this often so it's most likely just me.</li> <li>The <a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/1072641314.jpg">second photo</a> is one of, if not the coolest still shot of a Great White I have ever seen. I'm a fresh water fisherman and see things like small mouth and the occasional pike pop out of the water for an instant but of course nothing like this.</li> </ol> Do yourself a favor and put aside a couple hours each night this week to check out what this amazing channel has to offer. <a href="http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/universal_pictures/jaws/robert_shaw/jaws1.jpg">Quint</a> would be proud...then punch you in the face. Damn he's tough.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112156850514934680?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1121532713777730762005-07-16T12:33:00.000-04:002005-07-16T12:51:53.786-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/0439784549.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/320/0439784549.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />I for one can't understand what the big deal about this little sorcerer. I've figured out how to do pretty much everything he's ever accomplished including a couple that he hasn't quite mastered yet. Some of those things would include:<br /><br />1. How to <span style="font-style: italic;">not</span> make girls disappear<br />2. Stop being such a freaking weirdo<br /><br />I've seen two of the movies and have read one book. And still I just don't get it. How does Rowling have such a command over the little kids to buy her books about Mr. Potter? Well the new book has come out and of course the little kiddies flocked to it like people my age flock to the newest Grand Theft Auto. Of course GTA has things to offer like:<br /><ol> <li>Killing people with guns</li> <li>Killing people with cars</li> <li>Killing people with blunt objects</li> <li>Killing people with kindness.</li> </ol> Scracth that last one. Anyway, you get the picture.<br /><br />Twelve is your lucky number. New <a href="http://nopantzmusic.blogspot.com/">MNHE</a>.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112153271377773076?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1121314701284468032005-07-14T00:01:00.000-04:002005-07-14T00:20:16.430-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/Ditkafinger.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/320/Ditkafinger.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />In recent Ditka news, he's apparently pissed off at some people trying to get a ban on tobacco products in public places like restaurants and bars in the city that he currently resides. He had this to say:<br /><blockquote>Gang, this is not a smoking ban. If it was a smoking ban, ban all smoking everywhere. In the house, on the street. Get rid of it all. Let's be the cleanest city in the world. Let's start something completely different that nobody else ever did. Let's go get 'em. If you want to do it, do it right.</blockquote> Not exactly the best debater I've ever seen so let's see what he has to say next...<br /><blockquote>I drove down Michigan Avenue yesterday. I got behind a (Chicago Transit Authority) bus and I thought I could be asphyxiated. Are we gonna outlaw CTA buses?</blockquote>After this little speech he immediately went behind everyone and smacked them on the butt.<br />Now he's just giving people more targets to complain about and not really deterring from the fact that smoking will kill you. Well let's hope his main opponent has nothing up <span style="font-style: italic;">her</span> sleeve and will be heckled off the stage.<br /><blockquote>Until my diagnosis, I had no idea how dangerous secondhand smoke could be. For those of you willing to put others in harm's way for profit, shame on you. When we have irrefutable evidence of the damaging effects of secondhand smoke, it deeply saddens me that we continue to allow people, with the blessing of legality, to be forced to tolerate surroundings that may be nothing short of deadly.<br /></blockquote>Hmmmm, she points out the problems and gives a clear solution that she is striving for. What's Ditka doing again? Oh yea talking about busses. Maybe the people who put Mike up to this should've thought back to when he was a football coach and instead of getting calls reversed he would get thrown out of games.<br /><br /><a href="http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/3342536">[Article]</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112131470128446803?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1121226552767764812005-07-12T23:33:00.000-04:002005-07-12T23:50:21.966-04:00Thinking of a way to begin this entry has kind of bogged me down a bit. I searched and searched for a Far Side comic that made fun of people trying to build a rocket that had the text under it that is the same as my title. I couldn't find it so I was bummed. Then I thought about immediately going nuts and throwing around words like shit and fuck. I'm not going to do that, well not that much anyhow. What I am going to do is just sit and laugh as I read a ridiculous article from CNN about the new shuttle that is supposed to take off tomorrow sometime. Why am I going to laugh? Here's a quick paragraph from the article:<br /><blockquote>The tiles were damaged when a cover panel on the No. 7 cockpit window fell off as the orbiter sat on the launch pad late in the afternoon, officials said.</blockquote>The window fell off while sitting on the launch pad. Let me type this again. The <span style="font-weight: bold;">WINDOW FELL OFF</span>. It wasn't beaten off (no pun), it wasn't broken off, it <span style="font-weight: bold;">FELL OFF</span>. Do any of you think that NASA might not be ready to ignite the billion gallons of fuel that will set this thing off?<br /><br /><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/space/07/12/space.shuttle/index.html">[Article]</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112122655276776481?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1121127887078510162005-07-11T20:07:00.000-04:002005-07-11T20:32:33.923-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/che.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/320/che.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />How old has this sales pitch become? You know what I'm talking about right? How many times have you seen this in a magazine, newspaper, etc: <blockquote>Get ready for a revolution in whatever shitty market we sell our products in! When the day comes for our product to be released you will never look at the competitors the product the same because of their absurd inferiority. BEHOLD! MR. CLEAN ULTRA MEGA SUPER CLEANER!</blockquote>And that's pretty much how it always happens. It's never for a product we ever care about either. Notice in the beginning of these commercials that there is always some fade in and out crappy timeline of these companies shit products to date...UNTIL NOW. What would Che think of all of this today? Well first of all he would really pissed off that Cuba is still in <span style="font-style: italic;">fantastic shape</span>. Secondly he would be <span style="font-weight: bold;">really</span> pissed that he isn't getting any royalties from all of the cheap shirts that bare his face.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Note: </span>In no way does this rant take anything away from the upcoming <a href="http://www.engadget.com/entry/1234000667043658/">Nintendo Revolution</a>. This thing will shoot razorblades at anyone who scoffs at its magnificence.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112112788707851016?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1121053388226813452005-07-10T23:19:00.000-04:002005-07-20T19:22:51.306-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/hulkamania20002logo.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/320/hulkamania20002logo.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>The first episode of Hogan Knows Best has concluded and what an episode it was. Featuring a cameo from <a href="http://www.accelerator3359.com/Wrestling/pictures/knobbs.jpg">Brian Knobbs</a> of the Nasy Boys, the show pretty much starts with Hogan being portrayed as a crazy dad with a chokehold on his daughters' dating habits or lack thereof. While watching the show it becomes quite evident that Hogans' wrestling persona isn't actually his wrestling persona, this is actually how the man acts. I don't know if it's how he really acts when the cameras' are turned off of him but who cares? He talks about punching people and breaking a stupid frat boys fingers before he even says a word to him. Gotta love the Hulkster.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/hogan_knows_best/series.jhtml"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">[Hogan Knows Best Homepage]</span></a><br /><br />Over the weekend Danny Way completed what is pretty much the biggest thing ever for skateboarding. He jumped the Wall Of China. Yea you heard me. Him, a piece of wood and for wheels with some pieces of metal attached punched gravity in the face and jumped the Wall Of China. Are you saying something like "Bullshit, pictures or didn't happen." Well here you go jerk.<br /><ol> <li>The ridiculously large <a href="http://dannyway.com/controlpanel/photos/uploads/307.jpg">roll-in</a>.</li> <li>Him<span style="text-decoration: underline;"></span> <a href="http://dannyway.com/controlpanel/photos/uploads/308.jpg">sailing over</a> the wall. It's kind of hard to see him so just look in the middle of the picture.<br /></li> </ol><a href="http://dannyway.com/press_detail.php?id=163">[Danny Ways' Homepage]</a><br /><br />Now I don't know about you but I think I could find something else better to do with my time but then again I'm not a sponsored skateboarder that can travel the world and ask the China to hop over a wall of their's. In a radio interview he said it has always been something he wanted to do in the future and the opportunity had finally came. I don't know who would think about jumping a the Great Wall but that is definitely not something I would want to nor something I would think about doing in the future. What are some of the things that I have planned for the future?<br /><br />1.Krispy Kreme donut maker/Chef Boyardee are in my kitchen. This will take care of two things:<ol> </ol> <ul> <li>I'll never be hungry again</li> <li>I'll never need to visit a doctor for the rest of my life. If I know I'm in terrible health why would I pay someone to tell me?</li> </ul>2. Well, actually number one is all that I have figured out.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112105338822681345?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1120768003273496452005-07-07T16:09:00.000-04:002005-07-07T16:26:43.280-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/Sprint.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/320/Sprint.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />What you see is text that came on my new Sprint bill that I received in the mail today. Right when I read this I thought to myself: "I guess the previous bill that had the price you owe and the address to send the check to was just too difficult for most people. I guess I shouldn't say anything because I can't even count the times that I sent Sprint at least $100 too much. Actually it's zero. People are idiots and this isn't a new thing, not even close. What I can't understand though is that how hard is it to read a bill? I mean people have been doing this for hundreds of years. Obviously the format has changed over time but when you get right down to it, it's just an exchange of money between you and the service provider. Some other things that people should already know but apparently need warning signs or something else to let them know what they're about to get into include:<br /><ol> <li><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/warning_sign.jpg">Lawn mowers</a>: Apparently I'm not supposed to do this. Fat chance.</li><li>You really should stay away from <a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/200px-Shock_sign.jpg">lightning bolts</a> that Zeus throws.</li> <li>Apparently God gets bored sometimes and takes a <a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/s_humorbug_5aabcfc6e3.jpg">hammer to random cars</a> in the desert. I guess I would be doing the exact same thing. I'll just have to stick with the chunks of cement and mailboxes. <br /> </li> </ol>I love warning signs.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112076800327349645?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1120698970463202892005-07-06T21:05:00.000-04:002005-07-06T22:13:57.326-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/lil_kim%28005headshot-pretty-on-way-to-court-med%29.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/320/lil_kim%28005headshot-pretty-on-way-to-court-med%29.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />First off, I have to say finding a picture with Lil' Kim's breasts not flapping around took me til about page 4 of a google image search. After thinking about this, I probably just should've searched for a breast and posted that. You would most likely know who's it was after seeing them whenever you see her on any BET or Mtv award show. Now to the topic of this entry.<br />The woman pictured has recently been sentenced to 366 days in jail which is actually a great thing for her because she will get to see her friends more than just on visitation days. When asked how she felt she had this to say:<br /><blockquote style="font-style: italic;"><span class="blkPnkHover">I take complete responsibility for my actions, I know it was wrong.</span></blockquote>I'm pretty impressed she took this route instead of the Jesse Jackson/Screw you racist! approach.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1505262/07062005/lil_kim.jhtml?headlines=true">[Article]</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112069897046320289?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1120531631214392002005-07-04T22:17:00.000-04:002005-07-06T00:50:24.073-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/logo.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/320/logo.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>As most of my friends know, I'm addicted to two things: videogames and killing people. It just so happens that EA and DICE has finally came out with it's latest version of the Battlefield franchise and it's pretty much all I've been doing as of late. With all of the new features on it's just hard to put it down...but not impossible.<br /><br />Instead of making a long review that most people wouldn't read I've decided to make a short list of what the things are that I like and what I don't like. So let's just get right to it.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Good</span><br />1. <span style="font-style: italic;">New Graphics Engine</span><br />I have no clue how you can build one up but these guys have seemed to do it correctly. There a few gravity issues that they could work on but I'm no going to argue about it too much when the game looks as good as it does.<br />2. <span style="font-style: italic;">Progressing Through Ranks</span><br />The last game in the Battlefield series was great but it was lacking something I really wanted: a stats system. With this new version of the game I finally get it and will now be pretty much addicted to it even more now that I can unlock different guns as I move up the military ladder.<br />3. <span style="font-style: italic;">Maps</span><br />At first I really didn't like any of the maps that I was playing except for about 3. Out of the 12 that are available now, I think I like about 9 of them. They're huge depending on how many players you're playing with in a game. That brings me to another thing. If the server you're playing on is only for 16 players the map is made smaller automatically so it can play better with the amount of players on the server. It goes up to 64 players (16, 32 64) and as it increases with player size, the size of the map increases.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Bad</span><br />1. <span style="font-style: italic;">Still Very Buggy</span><br />How can you release a product that doesn't have nearly everything working correctly? EA is known for this so I was kind of preparing for the worse on how the game may be. It really isn't that bad for the most part but some of the bugs are a pain (exits to the desktop, server list freezes often).<br />2. <span style="font-style: italic;">Lag</span><br />As with any game online there will be lag. This isn't normal lag though. A lot of the servers (EA run) that are now up are doing fine and dandy but in the beginning it wasn't out of the ordinary to be crawling along at a snails' pace.<br />3. <span style="font-style: italic;">Incredibly Long Load Times</span><br />I don't even have a bad computer either and it still takes me a good while to load the maps and "verify client data." I have no idea what takes this so long while a game like Half-Life 2 can be up in half the time.<br /><br />Those are my main positive and negative points for the game. Now I'm going to throw out a list of some of my favorite screenshots to date.<br /><ol> <li>One of my favorite things to do in BF:2 is use a laser-guided missle and <a href="http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/198/92040720050617screen0011lm.jpg">here</a> it is in action. Once you shoot the missle you can guide it directly to where you want with just the mouse</li> <li><a href="http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/8278/battlefield2200505190649444466.jpg">This</a> is just a great shot to show what the new game engine can produce.</li><li><a href="http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/8140/battlefield2200506170452029817.jpg">These</a> are the people that I really tend to hate most of the time. Some of the people who play are amazing with choppers and jets already that it can turn into a bloodbath quickly if you don't know what you're doing.</li> <li>I honestly don't know why <a href="http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/396/battlefield2200506180336553876.jpg">this guy</a> is trying to snipe with a shotgun but to each their own I guess. This shot does give a pretty good view a control point on the map.<br /></li> </ol><span style="font-weight: bold;">Final Verdict</span><br />The simple truth is that if you like FPS' (and who doesn't?), then you will like this game. It may take a while for the makers to get the bugs out but for now it's still a very playable and fun game to mess around with.<br /><br />The pictures that were used were courtesy of <a href="http://www.gamespot.com/">Gamespo</a>t and <a href="http://www.gamespy.com/">Gamespy</a>.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112053163121439200?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1120260418010130642005-07-01T19:10:00.000-04:002005-07-04T00:25:20.496-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/1600/aniston.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2305/513/320/aniston.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />This is just what might actually happen in the near future. It seems that Brad Pitt hasn't quite got the message to Anniston that she needs to kill herself so even more information on Pitt and Jolie have leaked out about a possible baby on the way for the secret couple. Anniston has this to say:<br /><blockquote>Wahhhhhhhhhhhh!</blockquote>How wrong did this marriage have to go for Pitt to let things get this way? My God, what could she have done to him for him to treat her this way? I mean I'm not saying I'm Pitt's best friend or anything (I am though) but he seems like a much nicer guy than this. This leads me to believe this is Annistons'to fault completely. Way to go suck Jen. She lost her <span style="font-style:italic;">Friends</span> now her husband as well.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.starmagazine.com/news/61699">[Article]</a><br /><br />Old cd, new <a href="http://nopantzmusic.blogspot.com/">review</a>.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112026041801013064?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1120081559061164822005-06-29T17:36:00.000-04:002005-06-30T16:08:13.850-04:00Watching television for the past 21 years has really taught me something. Well actually a few things:<br /><ol> <li>Jay Leno still isn't funny even after all his Doritos commercials.</li> <li>David Letterman isn't that great either.</li> <li>SNL is in the 80's slump all over again<br /></li> </ol>The one recurring theme with this list is that television just isn't that great at all anymore with very few exceptions. They have the same gay jokes, the same celebrity putdowns (although I will laugh at anything negative said about Star Jones) and basically the same humor all the way across the board...err tv. Anyway, the following are topics you will almost never see on this blog because they're already way past whatever prime they once secured.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Tom Cruise Goes Nuts!</span><br /></span>Who cares? There's something in the news everyday about what he is doing, whether it be embarrassing himself with Matt Laur or trying to get on Oprah on her couch. The fact of the matter is, that he makes pretty sweet movies and got Dustin Hoffman to act like a complete moron and win an Oscar. Well I don't know if he (Cruise) got him to do it but we'll just say so for the sake of the argument.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />2. Michael Jackson Remains Nuts!</span><br />Ok, I'll admit that he's been on here a few times but sometimes even he is just too tempting to let go. But the reason that he's in the media so much is that he sleeps with boys! Who cares? Everyone's doing it.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3. Catholic Priests</span><br />See above topic.<br /><br />Yes I do know that it is ironic that I made a list of things you will never see on this blog. Aren't you clever.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-112008155906116482?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1119928463151866552005-06-27T23:14:00.000-04:002005-06-27T23:28:33.540-04:00<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/2745-1-1.jpg"><img class="phostImg" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/320/2745-1-1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />"Being Bobby Brown" is about to air on television (Thursday's @ 10pm on Bravo) that will rival anything seen on tv today or in the past. And yes that includes when ODB rolled up in a limo and went inside a building to receive foodstamps...on Mtv. Who knew the U.S. Government didn't like people stealing from them? Back to the topic at hand. Who on Earth gave this couple (Brown, Houston) their own show? Quite possibly the smartest person in the universe that's who. Everytime you see Brown's name in the paper it's for what? Yep that's right, doing something so dumb he gets to land in court or chill in jail for a while. When do you see Houston in the news? When she's running after her Bobby or looking like <a href="http://www.showbizz.net/uploads/musique/whitney_houston.jpg">this</a> or <a href="http://www.planet.nl/upload_mm/c/5/6/1863570654_1999998596_whitney.jpg">this</a>. Seriously, what an amazingly disgusting couple...that I will watch religiously.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/TV/06/27/people.bobbybrown.ap/index.html">[Article]</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111992846315186655?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1119901525983010192005-06-27T15:31:00.000-04:002005-06-27T17:38:30.250-04:00How many people does the Aruba PD need to arrest then let go? Recently a local judge was let go and now a DJ has also been released. How are these officers going about this business?<blockquote><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Copper #1 Well Frank, how should we go about this case?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Copper #2 Hmmm, we don't have any leads whatsoever, so how about this: we bring in pretty much anyone we would like to meet and just tell them that it's for the case and they're wanted for some simple questioning?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Copper #1 Hey that sounds good to me. Who's next on the list?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Copper #2 How about Jeb Bush?<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Copper #1 Nah he's still tied up in that ridiculous case about the dead lady named Schiavo.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Copper #2 What?! Are you kidding me? Her husband was cleared of everything and it was even confirmed that he didn't beat her or suffocate her to get her into the condition that she was in.<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Copper #1 I know what can I say? Some Christians can't take no for an answer.<br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Copper #2 Yeah no joke. Talk about do unto others as they would do unto you.<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Copper #1 Haha exactly so does that mean he can accuse everyone of the protesters now with killing his wife haha?<br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Copper #2 You're an idiot.</span><br /></span></span></span> </span></span> </blockquote>Even though the conversation went in a little different direction, you can still get the picture. I'm not a cop nor do I pretend to be one but I do know that you don't just arrest people with little to no evidence to just let them go a couple days later. Especially a freaking judge.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/06/27/aruba.missing/index.html">[Article]</a><br /><br />Also, the new Hate Eternal album: I, Monarch comes out tomorrow and I've had it for about a month now. Simply put, it rules. Check out the <a href="http://nopantzmusic.blogspot.com/">review</a>.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111990152598301019?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1119585570629502632005-06-23T23:28:00.000-04:002005-06-24T00:04:26.363-04:00<img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/ost15.jpg"><br />Finally the way Batman should be portrayed. After the two abysmal movies sans Keaton, someone finally got it right. Batman wasn't the guy who threw out God-awful puns after every fight scene. Instead he was the man who didn't say anything and just threw his fist in people's faces. He's no non-sense. After watching the movie there are a few things that I would change though, namely the characters in the movie.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Batman</span><br /><a href="http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/MMPH/28312.jpg">Michael Keaton</a> <span style="font-style: italic;">is</span> Batman. From the first time I saw him tell the bad guy on top of the building that he <span style="font-style: italic;">is</span> Batman, it has just stuck. Kilmer and Clooney can't hold a candle to him and neither can Bale, although Bale is the second best. Although I wouldn't have minded seeing some sweet Beetlejuice lines thrown in or at least someone's head spinning around.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Villian</span><br /><a href="http://amine.laggoune.free.fr/40%20jack%20nicholson%20fait%20le%20malin.jpg">Jack Nicholson</a> did what no one could do. He made the joker freaking cool. Long gone was the idiot running around in face paint laughing at everything in sight from the Adam West version. Even in the end The Joker got the last laugh. Jack can just get anything evil down and make it work. From his 10 foot long revolver that shot down the Batwing to the dance moves he dishes out whilst trashing the Gotham Art Gallery.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Butler</span><br /><a href="http://www.estrellita62.de/michael_cain.jpg">Micheal Cain</a> is pretty much the only choice here. The other guy is dead and was just too...dead looking in the first place. Even when he was alive he just wasn't that great and was boring to watch. Cain just delivers his part right and doesn't over or under-act it one bit.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Gadget Guy</span><br /><a href="http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Film/Pix/gallery/2005/02/28/morgan.jpg">Morgan Freeman</a> doesn't know how to do a bad job. Every movie I have ever seen him in he's awesome at what he does. So it goes as no surprise that he rules in this movie as well. He plays a "Q" (from Bond) type role that actually makes a lot of sense. I always kind of got angry that in the previous movies that it was thought that Batman made everything himself. It was ridiculous then and now they have rectified one of the few problems with the first two films.<br /><br />I could go on and do something about Batman's love interest but they never really get much into the story except when they're kidnapped and Batman needs to save them along with the rest of Gotham. If I was to choose any of the women who played this part I would have to go with <a href="http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/warner_brothers/batman/_group_photos/jack_nicholson6.jpg">Basinger</a>. I don't really have much of a reason other than the fact that she was born exactly 30 years and 18 days before me. I know that's a terrible reason and I had to check the Internet Movie Database (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000107/">IMDB</a>) to even know this.<br /><br />There you have it. The most important cast in movie history that should come together to make the best comic-book movie in history. <a href="http://www.comicscontinuum.com/stories/0406/29/tobey0th.jpg">Tobey Maguire</a> sucks.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111958557062950263?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1119489475530818762005-06-22T21:06:00.000-04:002005-06-22T22:26:10.710-04:00Well I think I have you covered. I'll also give you another reason why Kansas City really has no need whatsoever for baseball. In the mentioned city on July 16th a game between the Kansas City T-Bones and Schamburg Flyers the first two innings will be played using an Xbox. Not only are they using an inferior machine to simulate the first two innings of the game but they're going to leave the score stand at whatever the game is at when the videogame is done with. Meaning the score will be somewhere around 3423423-3454543545. The article doesn't really go on to say whether the stats will be given to the players but I doubt they really would. How did this stupid sports fiasco happen? The 6-year-old niece of Bryan Williams, director of community relations for the T-Bones thought about it and the guy actually said yes! How sad is it that you're taking ideas from little girls? Or little anybody for that matter. I think it's time to throw in the towel for professional sports because this is getting ridiculous.<br /><br /><a href="http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/3710962">[Article]</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111948947553081876?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1119393492866840392005-06-21T19:08:00.000-04:002005-06-21T19:12:45.650-04:00<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/%28SC%29Muhammad_Ali_Photo.jpg"><img class="phostImg" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/320/%28SC%29Muhammad_Ali_Photo.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />While each city (New York, Paris, Madrid, London and Moscow) bids for who will have the 2012 Olympics, NYC has something up it's sleeve. The man who fought and came out the eventual winner what most would say the best series' of fights in boxing history has stepped up to help the city that never sleeps. And let me ask you this: Who's going to stand in his way? Paris? What little Parisite, <a href="http://www.libertypost.org/cgi-bin/readart.cgi?ArtNum=98202">baby wanting man</a> will step up to Ali? Yea not one of them. And Moscow? It'll probably be snowing there regardless of the month. I can't think of anything to put down Madrid or London so I'll skip them. Ali had prepared this statement:<br /><blockquote>When I look back and remember my greatest, most exciting moments as a boxer, competing in New York and competing in the Olympics are at the top of that list.</blockquote>That's pretty amazing to me basically because I didn't know he could still talk. Mr. Ali/Clay, if you're somehow reading this that was a joke and don't kill me.<br /><br /><a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2005/olympics/06/20/nyc.ali.ap/index.html?cnn=yes">[Article]</a><br /><br />Also check out the review of Social Distortion's newest album <span style="font-style: italic;">Sex, Love and Rock n' Roll</span> in the <a href="http://nopantzmusic.blogspot.com/">MNHE</a> section.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111939349286684039?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1119199599041824282005-06-19T12:08:00.000-04:002005-06-21T16:40:59.406-04:00It's been close to a year since I've started this blog and as you can see I've acquired some links on the right side of the page. I did a post like this a while ago (<a href="http://nopantz.blogspot.com/2005_01_01_nopantz_archive.html">January</a>). Since then there have been some new additions and I just wanted to explain them to you and why they're there. So without further ado...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Superficial</span><br />After going to Gorilla Mask and seeing a link to this page about every other day with some pretty funny and current content, I decided that it needed to be up on this blog as well. If you like to know current news about whoever the latest hot girls in Hollywood are that love cocaine, then this is the place you need to be.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Homestar Runner<br /></span>Who doesn't know about this site. Even though the Strongbad emails have been declining much like The Simpsons as of late but they still have a good one every once in a while. And of course they will always have the Teen Girl Squad which is funny no matter how many times you have seen it.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Tucker Max</span><br />Probably the longest stories on the internet that I will ever read. No matter how you think it will turn out it is always absolutely hilarious. This guy is a close second to Maddox when it comes to laughs per second. No matte how long the stories look, still give them a read. They're worth it.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Heat Damage</span><br />One dRyan Franklin writes in this blog and I discovered it after he discovered me. He threw a comment my way that said I was awesome and me being the modest person I am said hell yes I rule. So for him being so nice to me I put up a link to his blog which talks about a wide variety of subjects. Some things you may see are vieogames, brand new electronics and even Japanese sex toys. Well maybe not videogames.<br /><br />That's it for the new crop of links. I'm sure there will be more to come later on in the year.<br /><br />Also I finally updated MNHE with the new A Life Once Lost album: <span style="font-style: italic;">Hunter</span>. Check it out <a href="http://nopantzmusic.blogspot.com/">here</a>.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111919959904182428?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1119136442944188232005-06-18T18:57:00.000-04:002005-06-18T19:14:02.953-04:00While browsing CNN.com, I noticed that they had a little bit of a new look to it. Overall, the site is the same as it once was but the graphics have changed up a bit and became a little more...<span style="font-style: italic;">sharp</span> I guess you could say. Anyway, while I was checking out some of the changes, I noticed that the CNN logo had something extra on it. Check it out <a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/cnn1.jpg">here</a>. As you can see it now has:<blockquote>With free Video<br /></blockquote>in the upper right corner. Now that's all nice and everything but what if some of the other online pages gave things away for free? It may look a little like this.<br /><br /><ol> <li><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/fox_end%20copy.jpg" /><p>When watching news, no one actually wants news. I mean who would want to know the whole story of everything? As Fox News we like to stay one-sided. Our debates are laughable at best since we bring in some esteemed Republicans but then bring in John Kerry. Did we say John Kerry? We meant John Kerry's maid. Well one of them anyway.<br /></p></li><li><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/msnbc_bw%20copy.jpg" /><p>You need a new tv to watch us?! You got it! You want a new couch or possibly a comfy recliner?! It's yours! Keith Olbermann just left us to get <span style="font-style: italic;">back</span> to ESPN. Who can blame him though? At least they have tv sets made of wood and metal as opposed to our cardboard and egg cartons.</p></li><li><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/cbs%20copy.jpg"><p>You the viewers were tired of Rather and we heard you! So what did we do? Well first off we tried to make him retire but he wouldn't have any of it. He for some reason kept saying viva la revolution! We didn't like the sound of that at all so we ran his ass through a scandal that Deepthroat would be proud of. So watch us because we hate Dan Rather as much as you do!<br /> </li> </ol><br />Well there you have it. I guess there are some things that are free in life.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111913644294418823?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1118869831232577762005-06-15T17:10:00.000-04:002005-06-15T17:11:55.140-04:00<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/1st%20comic.jpg"><img class="phostImg" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/320/1st%20comic.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Click to make huge.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111886983123257776?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1118796321041627832005-06-14T21:15:00.000-04:002005-06-14T21:15:37.183-04:00<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/b.jpg"><img class="phostImg" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/320/b.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />His first trip to the mideast was apparently so successful that now The San Francisco Chronicle has hired him to head to Iran to cover the upcoming elections. I really have no idea what he is doing there except for him to participate in flag burnings and massive chants of "Death to America."<br />What exactly is the best case scenario that could happen with this guy?<br /><ol> <li>Penn flies to Iran.</li> <li>His jet is taken over by terrorists.</li> <li>They land the jet while repeatingly punching Penn in the face.</li> <li>He is kept in a terrorist camp for years on end.</li><li>The U.S. drop bombs on the camp he is staying in for a "rescue mission."<br /> </li> <li>He dies.<br /> </li> </ol>Well that's pretty much how things should go. Would I be dissapointed if this happened. Of course I would, because this hasn't been attempted before. <br /><br /><a href="http://movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx?news=194156&GT1=6657">[MSN Article]</a><br /><br /><a href="http://actionadventure.about.com/od/teamamericaworldpolice/f/aatawpfaq4.htm">[Article On "His" Team America Appearance]</a><a href="http://www.drudgereport.com/penn.htm"><br /><br />[Drudge Report Letter In Question To Trey and Matt]</a><br /><br />I really loved how the letter went. It was pretty much everywhere and the P.S. part at the end is great. This guy thinks he's a national hero for being in a place with leaders who wanted nothing to do with a war because they knew what would happen. Who would've guessed that they would've treated the famous American individual very well? Idiot.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111879632104162783?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1118599660807659322005-06-12T14:07:00.000-04:002005-06-13T15:12:26.443-04:00Something kind of nerdy and fun(?) at the same time. What's everyones favorite computer language? Html? C++? No you moron! It's binary! <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Bi</span>, meaning two and <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Nary</span> meaning nary. You say it's the coolest thing this side AND that side of the Mississippi but it's just so hard to get all those dang one's and zeros to line up right. Well then have I got the website for you. It converts sentences to binary code and can convert code into regular words. Kind of nifty if you have no life.<br /><br /><a href="http://nickciske.com/tools/binary.php">[Website]</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111859966080765932?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1118547687879143912005-06-12T00:03:00.000-04:002005-06-12T00:13:52.483-04:00<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/manu_ginobili.jpg"><img class="phostImg" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/320/manu_ginobili.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Ever since Jordan left (the Bulls), the NBA has been nothing. They have been looking for a new star and are still yet to fill the void left by MJ. They have tried with Lebron but he is yet to win a championship. They have tried with Wade but he fell victim to the injury bug in the playoffs. Now that the finals are here, a man by the name of Manu Ginobli has stepped in which will be for about 10 minutes. Don't get me wrong, he looks like a good kid but just because he has a great game against the Pistons, it doesn't mean that ESPN and every other sports station needs to start sucking his cock just yet. The NBA is worse at this then anyone. They try to build up anyone they can so they can fill seats and make money. A year after the hype dies down, people wonder why their former star isn't performing at what they once were. David Stern doesn't get it, there won't be another Michael Jordan. Even with all of the talent coming out today, it just won't happen. It took however long for him to come along so why do they think they will find a perfect replacement a few years after he has passed. It makes me laugh every year when they new prospect will tear up records that have been up for years in a matter of seconds. Jordan was the first major player to be hyped to an incredible level. People know him all over the world and pretty much worship the ground that he jumps over. Hell, Jordan made Nike shoes what they're today. They're still making Air Jordan's and he doesn't even play anymore! He has his own Nike line of apparel. Tell me anyone else who has this much without lifting a finger. The NBA can try its best but nothing will come of it except sportscasters from ESPN trying to get some airtime with the latest story on the next "God" of basketball. At least until the next one comes along 3 weeks later.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111854768787914391?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1118261652477526362005-06-08T16:14:00.000-04:002005-06-08T17:00:51.253-04:00<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/newdaanapgallery.jpg"><img class="phostImg" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/320/newdaanapgallery.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Recently, everyone's favorite campaign failure decided to open his mouth once again like we all know he should and said:<blockquote>The GOP is pretty much a white Christian party.</blockquote>Really, I pretty much agree with him...pretty much.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br />The first thing I thought about doing is going through all the white republicans that helped out race relations such as Abe Lincoln. You know the guy who wanted to abolish slavery? But I decided against this because Dean probably meant the Republicans of today. And when I began to think of some Republicans of today that weren't white I came up with some obvious choices, like Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice. So I thought:<blockquote>Hmmm, I wonder why this party is like this or at least why Dean portrays it this way?<br /></blockquote>I thought for a little while and came to the conclusion that Dean is an idiot. We don't give empty promises to other races therefore they won't normally vote for Republican candidates. Now I'm not going on the record as saying that Republicans don't give empty promises because that's done by pretty much everyone in politics. But hey, if I was getting promised free money and welfare from a candidate, I would vote for them. Well actually I wouldn't because I would have the brain to know there's no way it can happen. Ever hear the saying "if it's too good to be true, then it probably is?" Well there you go, money doesn't grow on trees and there's no way in hell we're just going to give it away.<br />I could go on and on how Republicans run a better ship than the democrats like how we have a firm stance on things instead of trying to be for everything under the sun so that we can get votes but I'm not going to do that. I'm going to finish with <blockquote>Howard Dean, you're an idiot.<br /></blockquote><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111826165247752636?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1118178335757728062005-06-07T17:05:00.000-04:002005-06-07T17:30:22.946-04:00<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/Picture%20003.jpg"><img class="phostImg" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/320/Picture%20003.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Speeds up to 70mph!? Wait...speeds up to...the speed limit? Not much to brag about now is it? I mean if it was the often-reached 100mph then I would say this is a real police chase but all this really amounts to is..well, quite a pussy criminal. <blockquote>Hank: C'mon Alphonse, speed it up!<br />Alphonse: Screw you, I'm not getting a speeding ticket along with my wreckless driving, attempt at murder and rape attempt. It will look bad. Don't you know anything about anything?<br /></blockquote>One of the sad things about Fox News is that they hype things so much they never stop to actually look at what they're doing. What would it be like if they had a cook come in to the show Fox & Friends? <blockquote>Tom:Holy shit Gene, is that lady making mac and cheese...FROM SCRATCH!?<br />Gene:Tom, yes it is being attempted as of right now. Come back in a few minutes and I will let you know the progress of this breakthrough in cooking. Certainly we will all know where we were when Anita Baxter came through for the United States in making mac and cheese....FROM SCRATCH.<br /></blockquote>For me, it is incredibly easy to say that I have never seen a larger group of douchebags on tv in my life. These idiots beat out Kenny G, Queer Eye, and Lifetime Television with outstanding success at being complete tools. <br />I honestly can't see how the people that are recording this crap don't kill themselves. It wouldn't surprise me to be watching and hear a sharp crack in the background then see the camera dip towards the ground. I'm a republican and I still hate this channel. Yep! They're biased as hell. When you think about these things they make perfect sense. Do you think the same people who brought you Joe Millionaire, Married With Children and any other of the slutty reality shows give a flying fuck about your Christian beliefs? Of course not! So what do they do as a television organization make you think everyone is out to get them? Label everyone biased against Republicans! I'm not saying there isn't any bias out there (We can surely put some huge blame on Rather) but come on! I'm sorry but everyone is not against us. Down with Fox News and down with fake journalism.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111817833575772806?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1118155351229529232005-06-07T10:42:00.000-04:002005-06-07T11:21:31.820-04:00<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/mugabe.jpg"><img class="phostImg" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/320/mugabe.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Robert Mugabe who has been one of Africa's longest serving leader's has been wanting to tell all of us something since last week: He's not dead! Apparently, wherever this man is from, there have been reports that he has died of heart failure. George Charamba, his spokesman said that he is <blockquote>"As healthy as a teenager."</blockquote> Yes but let me clarify that a little bit. He's as healthy as a 50-60-something teenager with heart problems.<br />C'mon Zimbabwe, is this what we can expect from you? <blockquote>Man #1: Well I wonder what happened to our president?<br /><br />Man #2: I bet he's dead.<br /><br />Man #1: Dead?! Well let's call the news organizations and report the mishap! Wait, how did he die?<br /><br />Man #2: Probably heart trouble.<br /><br />Man #1: Son of a bitch!<br /></blockquote>I think it would be hilarious if Bush pulled this kind of thing in the U.S. They would only broadcast it to liberal states like California and New York. When the news broke out to national and international news, Bush could step in and do a tv spot and be like, April Fools motherfuckers! Of course this would have to be done around April 1st but hey, it's a sweet joke. I guess he is the president so he could just call it June Fools or whatever month it just so happens to be.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/africa/06/07/zimbabwe.mugabe.reut/index.html">[Article]</a><br /><br />Also just a little something worth a note: Bush had the same if not slightly better grades than Kerry did while at Yale. One thing with this I feel is that it just goes to show that Kerry isn't as smart as we thought and Bush isn't as dumb as a lot of you have thought.<br /><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/06/07/kerry.grades.ap/index.html"><br />[Article]</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111815535122952923?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1118110734339310152005-06-06T22:18:00.000-04:002005-06-06T22:31:39.146-04:00<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/KellyOsbourne_150x200.jpg"><img class="phostImg" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/320/KellyOsbourne_150x200.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />So even more news on the Osbourne front. Kelly Osbourne has started her second failed rehab session recently and when you have pictures like this, well why wouldn't you?<br /><blockquote>Kelly: I'm hideous! Look at me!<br /><br />Doctor: *pukes*<br /><br />Kelly: See! I'm like Stans girlfriend on South Park but in my case I'm revolting instead of a hot piece of ass...that's made from cardboard. Fucking Colorado bitches.</blockquote>This girl needs a crack habit faster than you can say Iron Man.<br /><br />On a totally different note, Chad sent a sweet picture from Iraq. Our friend Lee had his mom send Chad a ton of leftover girlscout cookies that were pretty much going to go to waste, so instead of trashing them, they went straight to Iraq.<br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/P6030007.jpg">[Chad loves the cock...I mean cookies...I mean cock] </a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111811073433931015?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1118029083436137452005-06-05T23:38:00.000-04:002005-06-05T23:39:14.846-04:00Well after you figured out the terrible play on words that is the title you will now decide whether to keep on going or stop right here. If you're still reading, thanks! Anyway, whie browsing CNN.com, I came across a story that I figured was pretty obvious in the first place. The title of the article is:<br /><blockquote style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Plan for the unexpected when children fly alone</blockquote>Hey that's pretty good advice for Jessica Simpson's parents but when you're talking about it for everyone...duh? Who wouldn't think of telling a kid what it might be like on a jet for a couple hours? It's almost as bad as saying:<br /><blockquote>Hey do you think we should tell Mark how to drive a car before he hops in and takes off? You know, at least put him through driver's ed? No? Alright then.</blockquote>CNN has almost became The Onion to me recently only with CNN it's like a fun scavenger hunt for terrible articles. You know they're there but you get to find them yourself! It's like a grown-up <span style="font-style: italic;">Where's Waldo</span> without the dork in the red and white clothes. Instead the man responsible for CNN is a dork that just so happens to have billions of dollars.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/TRAVEL/ADVISOR/06/03/unaccompanied.minors.ap/index.html">[Article]</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.dcs.st-and.ac.uk/%7Emorph/Transformer/">This</a> was posted on Gorilla Mask a couple of days ago but I thought some of you who didn't get to see it might like it. What it does is morph your face to a certain look that you can select from. Here are some of its creations for me:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >Old Man</span><br /><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/old.jpg" /><br />What can I say? I'm still going to be fucking hot when I'm 80.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Ape Man</span></span><br /><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/ape.jpg" /><br />Is it just me, or do I look <span style="font-style: italic;">more</span> intelligent?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111802908343613745?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1117774477532956662005-06-03T01:07:00.000-04:002005-06-03T01:07:36.480-04:00<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/bill_clinton.jpg"><img class="phostImg" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/320/bill_clinton.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Bill Clinton, he is as well known as Hitler and only loved half as much. He has a way with words as well as with the ladies. His activities include going to exotic islands with Bush senior, asking for money and never looking at his wife because...well look at her. Onto the topic. Clinton was reported as saying that he's glad that "Deepthroat" had came clean about who he was before he passed away. Honestly just in that sentence, Jay Leno could do an entire set of terrible jokes. That's why I'm laying of it for now at least. He also had this to say:<br /><blockquote>"I think Felt believed that there was a chance that this thing would be covered up,"</blockquote>And who better to ask about coverups than Bill Clinton? Finally he had this to say:<br /><blockquote>Everyone loves a good coverup. I mean honestly when Hillary and I cheated all of our old friends out of all their money...man that just brings back the memories. And speaking of Deepthroat, I just saw Monica about 3 weeks ago. Shit! There's Arsenio Hall on picking food out of a garbage can, I'm going to go over there and play the sax for him. After that I think I'll go home and not look at my wife some more. Hillary in 08' because I have some unfinished business in the Lincoln Bedroom. Laaaaaaaaate.</blockquote>And with that, the interview had come to a close.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/06/02/clinton/index.html">[Article]</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111777447753295666?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1117742863872876312005-06-02T16:07:00.000-04:002005-06-02T20:06:41.973-04:00Jack·ass<br />Pronunciation: <span style="font-weight: bold;">'jak-"as</span><br />Function: <span style="font-style: italic;">noun</span><br /><br />One who brings down others with him. Someone who has little to no respect for his common man and cares for no one but himself. One who likes to lie just to save his skin from further punishment. Anyone who is friends with Reverend Jesse Jackson.<br />For more info, see <a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/BobbyBrown_150x208.jpg">picture</a>.<br /><br /><a href="http://music.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=192657&GT1=6657">[Article]</a><br /><br />Id·i·ot<br />Pronunciation: <tt style="font-weight: bold;">'i-dE-&amp;t</tt><br />Function: <i>noun<br /><br /></i>Someone who has no idea what is to come when it is obviously in clear path of seeing. Anyone who lives in California.<br /><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/06/02/laguna.landslide.ap/index.html"><br />[Article]</a><br /><br /><br /><i></i><i><br /></i><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111774286387287631?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1117566859735862142005-05-31T15:14:00.000-04:002005-05-31T15:14:19.743-04:00<img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/heartpre3.jpg" /><br />It's been said that all good thing's come to an end which is obviously the reason why Paris Hilton is still in the news. Whether she's having sex with a new Hardee's burger or feuding with whoever the <span style="font-style: italic;">it girl</span> is, it's impossible for her and her Owen Wilson nose to stay out of the spotlight. Recently, news has broke that Miss Hilton is going to be running down the aisle to get even more money and also marry some guy with the first name Paris. I wonder after all the time they've been together if she still thinks it's <span style="font-style: italic;">so cool that they have the same first name</span>. All I can say to Paris is to not worry because she will now get to buy all the coke she ever wanted.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Movies/05/30/hilton.engaged.reut/index.html">[Article]</a><br /><br />Onto something new. Even more accusations are coming out of Cuba about the mistreatment the detainees that we have on Guantonimo Bay. Bush has come out saying this:<blockquote>Listen just because we beat the hell out of them and flush their religion down the toilet doesn't mean it's against the law! It does mean that? Well, that's why we aren't doing that you morons. This is absurd, I'm the freaking dictator and you guys are talking shit about me. That's it, guards seize all of these men except Brit Hume. Brit let's have a drink.<br /></blockquote>Honestly, I could care less what happens to these detainees. It's already been shown that the ones we have let go were again recaptured because they were firing on our troops in either Iraq or Afghanistan. What's worse? Us being killed by prisoners we let go or us beating them and taking their bible away? Just because we have taken it away doesn't mean that their belief system goes away with it.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/05/31/bush.newsconference.ap/index.html">[Article]</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111756685973586214?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1117400435287975602005-05-29T17:00:00.000-04:002005-05-31T23:12:00.233-04:00Since a picture is worth a thousand words I thought that some of the pictures that Lee and I took on Thursday would do the majority of the talking for me. Before that all gets started though I'll set up the situation.<br />Wednesday night, <a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/Picture%200021.jpg">Poland</a> messages me informing me that he's coming to Greenville and is in desperate need of a place to stay. I of course have zero plans for the weekend, so I think "hey something is actually going to happen this weekend." Skip ahead 24 hours and he's at my house. Looking for something to do, Lee called us up and said that he and Brett are going to go up to the new sports bar, <span style="font-style: italic;">Sportzters</span>. They came over and we drove up to the bar. At first we just stood around but then people decided that it was the new "place to be," and therefore piled in. The following are some pictures from that night.<br /><br /><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/N%204.jpg" /><br />For some reason, people on my end of the table wanted this picture to happen but I just wouldn't have it. Laura Donadio decided me saying no meant "pour beer on me now!" as she did just that. She felt bad and I laughed and said it was fine.<br /><br /><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/Picture%20015.jpg" /><br />Around midnight or so it was finally time to bust out the air guitars with Wild Stallyon like fury. I have no idea who the lady in the middle is but rest assured she went home with neither of them unfortunately because she was later dancing with an 80 year-old man. Maybe next time fellas. Later in the set, Rob broke away from Chris and did a <a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/Picture%20016.jpg">solo</a> all to himself.<br /><br /><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/NN%2020.jpg" /><br />Karaoke night was upon us and it took only a while before some of the guys had the nerve/alcohol in them to get up in front of everyone and massacre song after song. I simply, <a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/NN%2012.jpg">wasn't impressed</a>.<br /><br />Thursday was easily the best day of the weekend. Friday morning at work was easily the worst.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111740043528797560?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1117079557260832572005-05-26T12:17:00.000-04:002005-05-26T00:20:15.753-04:00<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/web_Andy_Griggs%20copy.jpg"><img class="phostImg" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/320/web_Andy_Griggs%20copy.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Oh what the country music stars of today are blossoming into. If you haven't had the chance to hear Andy Griggs, <span style="font-style: italic;">If Heaven</span> song then do yourself a favor and stay clear. He tries to tie up everything with what he thinks heaven might be with such objects like: trains! pies! and tears! Yes just read these lyrics with awe:<br /><blockquote>If heaven was a train it sure would be a fast one</blockquote>Hey that's pretty deep. I'm actually surprised he didn't compare it to a 69' Camaro or whatever other old muscle car this guy thinks is amazing.<br /><blockquote>If heaven was a pie it would be cherry<br />Cool and sweet and heavy on your tongue</blockquote>Now he's talking about eating heaven and how delicious it will be. With this lyric, it's obvious that he's the antichrist and is here to dominate the world with terrible music.<br /><br />Now try this on for size:<blockquote>And if heaven was a tear it'd be my last one<br />And youd be in my arms again</blockquote>I have no idea what this means but I'm sure someone from the female gender can come up with some bullshit metaphor for whatever they think this means and then call me an insensitive asshole. As for Mr. Griggs, he can keep trying to look like Andy Roddick but instead suck.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111707955726083257?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1117056732803883922005-05-25T17:45:00.000-04:002005-05-25T17:51:07.176-04:00<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/Shaq.jpg"><img class="phostImg" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/320/Shaq.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Some things have been happening on the Shaq front lately. Recently he was "recently sworn in as a U.S. deputy marshal and, on the Saturday afternoon before the Miami-Washington playoff series, O'Neal spent six hours with Miami Beach police investigators helping with cases." O'Neal actually had this to say:<blockquote>"I put a lot into it, and when I am done playing, I plan on going undercover and then being the sheriff or chief of police somewhere, either Miami or Orlando, I don't know yet."</blockquote>Yep because an undercover man that stands 7'1'' and looks exactly like Shaquille O'Neal wouldn't be suspicious at all. <span style="font-style: italic;">ESPECIALLY</span> since it is now in the news that these are his plans. Surely I'm not saying that people will remember this little article 10 years from now because they won't have to. If this man came up to you and says he would like to buy a 4 year-old for sex, what the hell would pop into your mind? <blockquote> Hmmm, well he has a beautiful wife, kids, mansions everywhere, anything he could possibly want but for some reason he came to my slum and wants little Billy for a couple hours. Sell!</blockquote>Also, his acting should be a pretty grave concern to anyone. Have you seen any of his movies? There's a reason they grossed about $73 combined. Would you put your kid's life on the line if it were up to Shaq's acting? Of course not because your kid would be a corpse faster than a Trekkie at a Star Wars opening.<br /><br /><a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2005/basketball/nba/specials/playoffs/2005/05/25/shaq/index.html?cnn=yes">[Article]</a><br /><br />Also, <a href="http://www.livescience.com/othernews/ap_050523_creation_museum.html">this</a> is just too good to not put up. Thanks goes to Mr. Franklin for finding it first.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111705673280388392?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1116905318027801122005-05-23T23:42:00.000-04:002005-05-23T23:43:01.866-04:00<a href='http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/1024/red6.jpg'><img border='0' class='phostImg' src='http://photos1.blogger.com/img/80/1472/320/red6.jpg'></a><br />Besides seeing balls fly out of Great American Ballpark, Danny Graves decided to unleash something else this past week: his middle finger. And as much as I hate to admit it, it doesn't bother me that he did it to a fan. Now I only agree with it as long as what was supposedly said, was indeed said. After another stellar performance from Graves (aka blowing a save), he walked off the field and an idiotic fan supposedly said:<blockquote>Hey Graves, why don't you go back to Vietnam</blockquote>in a rather vulgar manner. I don't care if fans boo or tell how much a guy sucks at what he does but when you bring in that he needs to leave the country and go back to his own in a way that this fan supposedly said, then I think Graves should be able to use anything in his arsenal including punji sticks. In the media today so much is put on the players and not enough on the fans. Of course the reason is that we know who the player's are and their past so it is easier to not believe them or pile the crap on them because 99 times out of 100, no one has a clue who the fan is. Just because these guys are making millions of dollars doesn't give us the right to scream or do anything we want to them without them having some kind of counter attack. Because if that was the case, I would not be writing this but instead robbing professional baseball players houses constantly. The worse part about this for Graves is that he's now off the Reds, whom I assume were just looking for a way to get Graves off the team since he was stinking up the join and found a great opportunity in this instance.<br />Also, an update for the Reds, they won tonight so there's no need to watch them for the next 3-4 games as they will lose.<br /><br />RYAN FRANKLIN:Has your site moved urls? Or are you in the midst of changing servers again? Will their be a site of yours up anytime soon?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111690531802780112?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7928018.post-1116689947138050672005-05-21T11:39:00.000-04:002005-05-21T11:39:07.146-04:00<img src="http://www.wheatoncollege.edu/quarterly/q2003fall/beer.jpg"><br />Well the school season is winding down once again for the regular kids (fall-spring) and that means that the new school year in fall will get to bring even more kids who think they're the first ones ever to drink beer. Yes, don't you love it when you see away messages that look something like this:<blockquote>can someone tell me why<br />a) i woke up with 10 sausage egg mcmuffin sandwhichs by me<br />b) i was wearing an i heart animals sticker<br />c) what happened after midnight-Bryson (I still heart you)</blockquote>Or how about:<blockquote>I'M SO WASTED.-Too many to count</blockquote>The truth of the matter is that I have no clue what these kids are out to prove. Unless you were possibly with the people while these crazy activities happened, why would you care? <br /><blockquote>Oh, so what you're telling me good sir, is that you shit in a trash can then puked for 3 straight hours in the back of a car? Count me in!</blockquote>I'm not saying I don't drink because I have been known to every so often but what I don't do is advertise every minute of the ordeal. People have been doing it (drinking) for years before you and will continue even while your corpse is the in ground, amazing as that might sound.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7928018-111668994713805067?l=nopantz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585239714990046389noreply@blogger.com1